Dead, Lay Buried
by Scealai
Summary: Willow's radical plan to resurrect Buffy puts lives in danger. Willow/Angel **COMPLETE**
1. Chapter 1

Title: Dead, Lay Buried  
Author: T. C.  
Rating: R for situations of violence and emotional distress  
Pairing: Willow/Angel  
Summary: Willow's radical plan to resurrect Buffy puts lives in danger.  
Disclaimer: Joss owns all the characters and is responsible for   
inspiring writer's like me, I hope that he would like what   
I think should happen next season. BTVS and Angel also   
belong to Twentieth Century Fox, The WB, and UPN. Please   
consider this free publicity.  
Spoilers: The fifth season finale of Buffy and second season finale of  
Angel as well as anything that happened before them, so if  
you haven't seen all of the fifth and second seasons, then  
please refrain from reading this fic until after you have.  
***********************************************************************  
Part One  
  
"It's Buffy." Angel made that simple statement and Willow was glad. It  
meant that she didn't have to say it and it reminded her of why she was  
here. It was about Buffy. It was for Buffy.  
  
"I need the book." Her voice came out stronger than Angel had expected  
considering that Willow looked shattered. Except now that she had   
spoken, her stubborn resolve face slid into place. Angel didn't have  
to ask which book, he knew.  
  
"What book?" Cordelia interrupted them. She knew from Willow's and  
Angel's expressions that Buffy was dead, but why would Willow be so   
concerned with a book? Unless someone was hurt and she needed it for a   
healing spell or to kill the demon that killed Buffy or.... "Is Xander  
okay?"  
  
For the first time Willow really noticed the others. Cordelia and  
Wesley looked sad and worried for their friends. The other two, a shy  
looking brunette woman and a young handsome black man, she didn't know.  
And she didn't have time to know them right now. Cordelia's chin was  
starting to tremble and Willow knew that she had to at least answer her  
question. "Xander's as okay as the rest of us. I need the book,   
Angel. I can get Buffy back."  
  
"No. That book is dangerous." Angel shook his head. Giles would stake  
him if he gave that book to Willow and then Buffy would find him in   
hell and thrash the afterlife out of him.   
  
"What book?" Wesley echoed Cordelia's first question.  
  
"Angel, you don't understand." Willow ignored Wesley's question.   
Angel was the important one. He had the book and he would do anything  
for Buffy. He just needed to think about it and really understand   
what she was saying. That she could bring Buffy back. "Buffy was   
caught in a vortex opened with Dawn's blood. It sucked out her soul to  
seal itself. Her death wasn't natural. The vortex took it from her,   
it didn't leave her body because she was dead, she died because her soul  
was gone. I can get her soul back if you give me the book."  
  
"The Romany Book of Lost Souls," Wesley said with awe. "You have it,  
Angel? Does it say anything about your curse?"  
  
"It was in with Jenny's things that the police released to Giles. He  
gave it to me for safekeeping. How did you know that I had it,   
Willow?"  
  
"Just give it to me." Willow crossed over to them, casting a glance  
backward.   
  
That's when Angel noticed the figure curled up on the couch  
hidden by the shadows. Dawn. Their terse argument hadn't awakened   
her. He couldn't believe that Willow had dragged the exhausted and  
grief-stricken girl here. It just showed that she wasn't thinking   
clearly. He had to protect her from herself. Buffy would have wanted  
it that way. "No."  
  
Before Willow could respond, the front door of the hotel slammed open.  
A large, dark figure filled the doorway. Willow didn't recognize what  
type of demon he was, but from the looks on their faces, Angel,  
Cordelia and Wesley did. "Angel! You and your human friends have  
interfered in my hunting parties for the last time." The silver gleam  
of an axe blade flashed in the dim light and it's red eyes glowed.  
  
"I don't have time for this, I only have twenty-four hours before   
Buffy's soul is lost." Willow turned to Angel. "Bad guy?" At Angel's  
nod, her eyes turned black . "Evil begone," she growled and held out  
her hand. A crackle of energy shot from her fingers into the demon.  
The thing howled, but was promptly cut off as it exploded into tiny   
particles that blew out into the street as the door slammed shut again.  
  
Angel was aware of Gunn and Fred jumping back. Cordelia and Wesley  
just stood with their mouths open. No one had told them that Willow's  
powers had grown to this extreme. Now he was worried. Willow might  
actually be able to perform the spell she had in mind. Angel   
shuddered when her eyes, devoid of color, turned to him.  
  
"Don't make me take it."  
  
*****  
  
This was madness. Angel couldn't believe he was back in Sunnydale   
about to help Willow resurrect his lost love. He should have listened  
to Wesley and refused to help. He should have called Giles and had   
him talk some sense into Willow. He glanced over at the object of his  
thoughts and caught Dawn's worried gaze. She was afraid for Willow   
too. She was also why he hadn't put up a fight over the book. Dawn   
had woken up when the demon exploded and had heard Willow's threat.   
She had started to cry and Angel hadn't wanted to upset her by having a  
physical confrontation with Willow, because given her state of mind,   
that's what it would have been. Angel had seen no choice other than  
to give Willow the book and insist on accompanying them. He was here  
to make sure that Willow didn't hurt herself or Dawn.  
  
"It happened here." Willow stopped at some debris. They were back at  
the construction site that Glory had picked to open the vortex that   
would send her home. Willow squeezed Dawn's hand. Now that they were  
here, she was scared. What if she couldn't do this? What if she hurt  
Dawn in the process?  
  
"Willow, you don't have to do this." Angel uncannily read her mind.  
His hand enfolded her free one. It was what she needed. She would and  
could do this - for Buffy, for Dawn, and for Angel. On the way back to  
Sunnydale, while Angel drove, Willow had read the book. At first she  
just read the spell she needed over and over again to memorize it, but  
that hadn't taken long and she was curious about the rest of them. On  
the page that had Angel's curse, there was a footnote that referred   
to an anchoring spell. Willow hadn't had time to pursue it since they  
had reached Sunnydale and Angel had immediately confiscated the book  
from her. He thought the book was dangerous and that he could convince  
her not to use it. Poor Angel, because not only was she going to use   
it, but after reviving Buffy, Willow had every intention of using that   
book to make Angel's soul permanent. Then the Slayer and her vampire   
could be happy.   
  
"Give me the book, Angel." Willow let go of her friends' hands. She  
turned to Dawn. "Dawn, I need you to be my connection to Buffy.   
After I retrieve her soul, I'm going to have to tap into some of your  
energy as the Key to transfer her soul into her body, okay?"  
  
"Okay." Dawn nodded. "Will this really bring Buffy back? And she'll  
be okay, right?"  
  
"I wouldn't try it if I didn't think I could bring our Buffy back to   
us." Willow hugged the girl to her. "I love you." She let Dawn go  
and shrugged the canvas bag she'd been carrying from her shoulder. As  
she rummaged through the bag she explained what she was going to do.  
It reassured her, made it seem more real and possible and not some  
desperate attempt to hold onto her dead best friend. "This first part  
is relatively easy. I just need some of your blood to open the vortex,  
Dawn."   
  
"But how will you close it?" Dawn's question was more curious than  
fearful. She knew that she could trust Willow and Angel was here too,  
so she wasn't scared that any of Glory's lingering minions would hurt   
them either. He would also stop Willow from hurting herself. Ever   
since Buffy had died, Willow's behavior had worried Dawn. She had   
wanted to go to Angel immediately and wouldn't listen when the others  
had tried to stop her. Of course if they had known her real reason for  
wanting to go to Angel, they would probably have locked her up. Or  
tried. Dawn was pretty sure that Willow would use her magic against  
anyone who tried to stop her, even her friends, but she also knew that  
Willow wouldn't hurt her.   
  
"The vortex opens with your blood and it stops when your blood stops.  
It's connected to you and you are connected to Buffy by blood, that's   
why her sacrifice sealed it. If Buffy had realized this earlier, none   
of this would have happened, because we could have come prepared - like  
I have." Willow glanced warily at Dawn. She took a small jar from   
her bag. Within it a greyish bulbous mass floated in a clear liquid.  
"The blood that connects you belonged to Joyce. I took this from the  
hospital before we left for L. A. It's the tumor they removed from  
your mother's brain. It should seal the vortex once I've gotten   
Buffy's soul back." Willow set the jar onto the ground and reached   
into her bag once again and this time brought out a crystal sphere.  
  
"The Orb of Thesulah," Angel whispered. The orb would hold Buffy's   
soul just as it had housed his a few years ago. Not for the first time  
that night, dread permeated his consciousness. Something was going to   
go wrong. Willow was going to get hurt. "Willow..."  
  
"You can't stop me, Angel. I have to do this, I have to try." Willow  
set the orb down beside the glass jar. She threw her arms around   
Angel in a tight bear hug. "I'll bring her back to you, I promise."  
  
It was amazing to Angel how much this young woman in his arms would do  
for the people she cared about, not to mention what she would do for   
complete strangers. Angel's arms tightened around her, holding her   
warm body as close as possible to his. He hadn't had many chances to  
hold Willow close, usually it just happened when he was saving her   
from some demon that wanted to kill her, and he didn't want to let go  
now. He couldn't take the chance that the world would lose this  
perfect treasure. "Buffy wouldn't want you to hurt yourself, Willow.  
And what if something were to happen to Dawn? It's too risky. Think  
about Giles and Xander, they can't lose you too or Dawn." Angel   
risked looking down at Willow, even though it meant that he had to move  
a hair's breadth away from her. She met his gaze briefly, guilt   
flashing through her eyes, before she slipped from his grasp. Too late  
Angel realized that she had taken the book from his pocket.  
  
"Sorry." Willow mouthed the word. "Thicken," she commanded out loud,  
immobilizing Angel. He would have tried to stop her and she didn't   
want to hurt him. She turned her back on him and started walking up   
the stairs to the top of the construction tower that Buffy had fallen  
from with Dawn following behind her. Once they reached the top,   
Willow opened the book to search for the page with the spell just in  
case she had a memory lapse. Angel would forgive her once Buffy was  
back safe and sound. They all would. "Dawn, are you ready?"  
  
The younger girl nodded and held a trembling hand out to Willow. Her  
eyes were wide and they darted around the construction site below   
them. Willow wished that she didn't have to involve Dawn, especially   
so soon after the traumatic events of the night before, but she  
needed the power of the Key and the blood connection to Buffy. As  
gently as possible, Willow slit open the tip of Dawn's index finger  
with her white-handled ceremonial dagger.  
  
The blood dropped to the ground and the effect was immediate. With a   
sighing grumble, dark clouds formed and a bright white light cracked   
their surface. Willow held the Orb of Thesulah aloft. "Buffy Anne  
Summers! I call your soul to this orb." The orb began to glow, and  
as it happened when she restored Angel's soul, the words came to her.  
Willow barely glanced at the book as the familiar Romany words flowed  
from her lips. A bright blue and pink dazzling light flashed out from  
the vortex and struck the orb like lightening. The orb absorbed the  
light and Willow knew the spell was successful. She had Buffy's soul.  
Now she just had to close the vortex again.   
  
All Angel could do was watch. Willow had effectively pinned him to his  
spot. He was helpless. But she had done it. He had watched as   
Buffy's soul was pulled into the orb and now he watched as Willow   
opened the jar containing Joyce's tumor. He heard her yell something,  
but couldn't make out the words. Then, with an arm a quarterback would  
admire, she threw the jar into the vortex. Flashes of intense white  
light crackled in the dark clouds as the vortex decided if this was  
what it wanted. A loud bang of thunder signaled its acceptance and  
the vortex sealed.  
  
The sudden silence was oppressive, especially since Angel couldn't   
move. He heard the hollow clang of their footsteps on the stairs as  
Willow and Dawn descended from the tower. As they approached him,   
Willow held out her hand. "Release." And he could move again. Angel  
joined them without a word as the trio left the construction site. It  
was time to restore Buffy's soul.  
  
*****  
  
The funeral home where Buffy's body lay waiting to be buried was dark.  
Willow zapped the lock on the door without a second thought and Angel  
was again astonished at how magic had become such an integral part of  
her. Willow took Dawn's hand and gave it another reassuring squeeze.  
Angel realized that not even a month ago, Joyce Summers had lain here  
waiting for her burial. He took Dawn's other hand and felt better when  
she smiled at him. It was hard to believe that this fragile little   
girl was the key to the universe. He smiled back at her. He was   
feeling better all around. Now that Willow had Buffy's soul and had  
sealed the vortex, he was beginning to think that she could actually  
bring Buffy back and that his earlier feelings of doom and gloom were  
just his pessimistic nature.  
  
"Who's there?" Spike's speech was slurred and he looked up from where  
his head was resting on Buffy's coffin with bleary eyes. A bottle of   
his favorite whiskey was clutched in his hand. "No one goes near the  
Slayer! If it's a trophy you're lookin' for, leave before I bash yer  
soddin' brains in."  
  
"Spike, it's me." Willow approached him cautiously.  
  
"Wil'ow? An Li'l Bit, Dawnie!" Spike smiled at the girls, but it   
twisted horrifically as he vamped when he noticed Angel. "You," he  
growled and tried to launch himself at his grandsire. In his   
inebriated state, it came out more as a stumbling lurch that found him  
kissing the floor at Angel's feet.  
  
It was a pitiful sight, but one that Angel understood. When Buffy had  
told him of Spike's feelings, she had referred to it as a 'crush', but  
Angel had known better. When his grandchilde loved, he loved with  
every part of his being and Angel had known that Spike had loved Buffy.  
"Spike." Angel hauled him to his feet. "I'm sorry about Buffy."  
  
"Yeah, right, Big Poof. You came here to take her away from me. Like  
Dru...always second...never loved me...hated me...loved her..fought  
stupid evil...." Spike trailed off, taking a swig from his empty   
bottle. Realizing he was out of alcohol, he flung the bottle away and  
it smashed against the wall. Swaying slightly, he once again focused  
his grief-filled rage at Angel. "You! You want to...want to..."  
  
"I'm here to bring Buffy back. Angel doesn't want to take Buffy away,  
he's here to help me." Willow took Spike's arm and led him a few   
steps away from Angel. She settled him onto a metal folding chair set  
up for the services the next evening.  
  
"Really? You can do that? Bring her back?"  
  
"I've got her soul right here." Willow showed Spike the orb. He  
stared at it and the glowing lights reflected the tears that wet his  
cheeks. "Now you sit here while Dawn and I perform the restoration  
ritual. Okay?" She patted Spike's hand.  
  
"What do you want me to do?" Angel asked softly, keeping an eye on  
Spike. All of the younger vampire's rage had disappeared as his gaze  
never left the Orb of Thesulah and Buffy's soul. Angel still didn't   
want to take the chance of antagonizing him again.  
  
"I'm going to do the restoration spell and combine it with a healing  
spell that will take care of the damage to her body from the fall and  
from any cell degeneration that took place after she died. I'm going  
to need to tap into Dawn's energy as the Key to do it. I want you to  
stop me from taking too much. I won't be able to control it once I   
start the spell." Willow turned to the young girl. "When you feel   
pain, I want you to cry out and Angel will break our connection. You  
don't have to worry, it won't effect the spell or Buffy."  
  
Both Dawn and Angel nodded. Willow took Dawn's hand again and walked  
towards Buffy's coffin. Angel hung back, waiting for his signal.  
Something Willow had said bothered him, but he couldn't pinpoint what  
it was.  
  
"The curse! What about the bloody curse!" Spike suddenly yelled.   
"Don't want the Slayer to be all broody 'cause she'll lose her soul   
when she's happy."  
  
"That won't happen, Spike," Willow assured him. "This is a different  
spell from the one that was performed on Angel. It returns a soul to  
its human body, because it was taken unnaturally. It's not a curse for  
the undead. Buffy's soul will be with her until she dies a natural   
death." Willow turned back to the coffin. She lifted the lid to   
reveal a peaceful looking slayer. As he was the first time he had seen  
her, Angel was captivated by her beauty. She lay there like Snow White  
waiting for Prince Charming. A sharp pain in his heart reminded Angel  
that he could never be her prince. Even if Willow did resurrect her,  
Buffy's destiny was with someone else. And hopefully, someday, there  
would be someone for him as well.  
  
Willow was nervous. Things were going too smoothly, even Angel hadn't  
put up much of a fight. Of course, once he realized that Buffy would   
be alive and well, Willow hadn't expected him to. Angel would do  
anything for his love - his soulmate. Resolve face back in place,   
Willow placed the orb on Buffy's chest. One hand hovered over the orb  
and with the other, she took Dawn's hand. With a deep breath, she   
opened a channel to the Key's energy. In a voice she didn't recognize  
and in a language she didn't fully understand, Willow spoke the words  
of the spell.  
  
It was a thrilling and terrifying thing to watch. The beautiful   
sparkling green left Willow's eyes, replaced with inky black. The orb  
glowed in response to Willow's words, the soft white light enveloping  
Buffy's body. He waited for a response - a twitch, a breath - anything  
that would indicate that Buffy was alive and well. So focused was he  
on this, that Dawn's sharp piercing cry made him jump. Immediately,  
Angel rushed forward and wrenched Dawn's hand from Willow's grasp.  
  
The loss of the Key's energy impacted Willow like a football tackle -  
it felt like she had gotten the magic 'wind' knocked out of her. With  
another deep breath, she steadied herself and gathered her magical   
power and let it flow into the finishing of the spell. Willow looked  
down at Buffy. She held her breath as she caught a faint flutter of  
an eyelash and let it out in a gasp of surprise and delight as Buffy's  
eyes opened.  
  
"Willow?" Buffy whispered. She sat up slowly. "What happened? Death  
was my gift."  
  
"And your life was mine." Willow smiled, tears running down her   
cheeks. She stepped back to let Dawn hug her sister. They were both  
laughing and crying and when Spike joined in, Buffy didn't push him  
away.  
  
Willow felt Angel's hands on her shoulders and she briefly wondered why  
he didn't join in on the group hug. "You did it, Willow, you brought  
Buffy back," he whispered in her ear. She felt him press a kiss to her  
temple.  
  
"Yes, I did." Willow tilted her head up to look into Angel's dark   
brown eyes shining with unshed tears. She touched his cheek. She   
couldn't wait to perform the anchoring spell. It would have to be done  
as soon as she had regained enough strength. He and Buffy deserved to  
be happy together. Willow felt her knees give out and Angel's arms go  
around her as he caught her.  
  
"Willow?" She heard Angel say her name and he sounded far away. She   
had thought she would have more time. She must have used too much   
power and the severed connection had done too much damage. She wasn't  
going to regain enough strength to anchor Angel's soul. She wasn't   
going to regain any strength.  
  
"Angel...the book," Willow gasped. She had to tell him about the   
spell before it was too late. Someone else could do the spell.   
"Tara...Giles...anchor...." That's all she could manage. Her head was  
tingling and her peripheral vision was darkening. Her heart gave a   
weird jump and then Willow felt it stop.  
  
To be continued.... 


	2. Chapter 2

Part Two  
  
One minute she had been smiling up at him and the next she had   
collapsed in his arms babbling about the book, her girlfriend, Giles,   
and an anchor. Her heart stopped beating. Willow's heart stopped   
beating. Angel had heard its last thump. A searing pain burned his   
chest. "Willow!" he screamed. He shook her limp body more forcefully   
than he should have.  
  
"No!" Angel heard Buffy's voice, but barely felt it when she pushed   
him away from Willow. "No, she's not going to die. Willow, you are   
not going to die."  
  
"She's dead." Angel crept closer to the two girls. Buffy was feeling  
for a pulse. She laid her head on Willow's chest. "She's dead," he  
repeated numbly. She was alive and now she was dead.  
  
Buffy looked up, her eyes blazing into his. "No. Dawn, call nine-one-  
one, tell them we have an unconscious female with no pulse at Brierly  
Funeral Home. Wait for them and bring them back here." Buffy watched  
as Dawn took off and then turned her attention back to Willow. She  
was not going to die. She wasn't going to lose someone else she loved.  
Buffy tilted Willow's head, pinched her nostrils and delivered two   
breaths into her best friend's inert lungs. With no response, she   
started CPR compressions. She tuned everything else out - she didn't  
know what Spike and Angel were doing - her whole world was two breaths,  
five chest compressions, until finally a paramedic pulled her away.  
Her instinctive protective reaction was to knock him away, but she felt  
Spike's cool hands close over her arms as he moved her away.  
  
"It's okay, Slayer, they're here to help." He hugged her to him.   
"Your job is over now. Let them do theirs."  
  
It seemed to take forever. Time was moving in a horrendously slow  
motion. Buffy had to turn her head into Spike's chest when they  
brought out the defibulator and started to shock Willow with the   
paddles. "I've got a pulse," finally one of them shouted. "Let's move  
her into the wagon."  
  
They were going to take Willow away. Angel stepped forward as she was  
put onto the stretcher. He clasped one of her small limp hands in his.  
"I'm going with her." He was never going to let her go again.  
  
"Angel." Buffy stepped forward to protest. She was Willow's best  
friend, she should stay with her. She was about to bring this little   
fact up when she noticed Angel's eyes. He was terrified. They   
followed the stretcher as it rolled toward the front doors.   
  
"Let him go." Spike took her arm once again. "We'll meet them there."  
  
"Is Willow going to be okay?" Dawn's voice was small and she trembled  
with grief and exhaustion. She hugged herself to her sister's side.  
  
"She'll be fine, Dawn," Buffy assured her. She watched as Willow was  
loaded into the ambulance and Angel jumped in after her. The doors   
were closed and the vehicle roared away into the night with sirens  
blaring. "Willow can't die. Too many people love her." Some more   
than they realized.  
  
*****  
  
The ambulance was a small, self-contained flurry of activity. Angel   
sat at Willow's side, holding her hand and concentrating on her face,  
willing her to wake up. The paramedic on her other side kept track of  
her pulse, beeping on the heart monitor, and continued to force air   
into her lungs with a balloon-like pump. It had AMBU-BAG embalzoned   
on its side in dark red letters. Willow's heart was beating, but she   
still wasn't breathing on her own. Angel didn't want to contemplate   
what that meant. Absently he brushed a lock of fiery red hair from her   
eyes. His thumb returned to caress her brow. Not breathing meant a  
respirator. Respirators could be turned off. This thought stayed with  
him as they screeched to a halt in the ambulance bay and still   
thundered in his brain as they tore Willow's hand from his and wheeled  
her through a set of swinging doors.  
  
"Sir, are you with that young lady who just came in?" a pretty, middle  
aged nurse asked. She smiled that gentle 'everything will be okay'  
smile that people in her profession have perfected. "We need some of  
her information." Angel went with the nurse over to the admitting  
desk and told her what he could. While he was doing that, he also told  
her a few things that laid the groundwork for his plan to protect   
Willow. It wasn't going to make anyone happy, Buffy and Xander would  
be furious - not to mention Willow's girlfriend - but Angel didn't   
care. After speaking with the nurse, he dug out his cell phone to call  
someone who could come up with the proper documentation to verify his  
lies.  
  
"Angel!" Buffy ran up to him just as he was finishing his call. "How's  
Willow? Did you just call Giles and Xander?"  
  
"No, I didn't think to call them. They just took Willow in there a   
few minutes ago. They haven't told me anything yet." Angel gestured  
at the doors down the hall. He sat down in the chair nearest the  
doors to wait.  
  
Buffy paced back and forth in front of Angel. "I'll go call them."   
She started to head to the bank of payphones, but Spike stepped in   
front of her.   
  
"I don't think that's a good idea, Pet, considerin' the last time Giles  
and Xander saw you, you were dead 'n' all." Spike walked over and   
picked up the receiver of a payphone. "I'll call."  
  
Buffy resumed her pacing. Dawn curled up in a chair beside Angel. She  
reached over and held his hand, squeezing it tightly. There was no   
evil to fight, no demon or hell goddess to kill, all they could do was   
sit...and wait...and hope...and pray. Not things that any of them were  
good at.  
  
*****  
  
Buffy and Spike were making Dawn dizzy. One paced one way and the   
other paced the other way. Angel was making her worried. He just   
stared at the door and didn't say a word. Dawn rested her head on his  
shoulder. She wanted to cry, but she couldn't. She had shed too many  
tears in the last twenty-four hours - tears of fear from being captured  
by Glory and tears of grief for her sister - there weren't any left for  
Willow. Besides, Buffy had said that Willow wouldn't die and Buffy   
never lied. And Angel wouldn't let Willow go without a fight. "We  
didn't hurt her, did we, Angel?"  
  
"You didn't do anything, Dawn, except help bring your sister back."  
Angel couldn't tear his eyes from the doors. He had this irrational  
fear that if he looked away, Willow would die. It was his fault, he   
had hurt her when he had broken the connection between Dawn and Willow.  
He now knew what had bothered him when Willow had assured them that   
breaking the connection wouldn't effect Buffy or the spell - she hadn't  
included herself. He could hear her heartbeat. It was strong. That  
was good. He would concentrate on that.  
  
"It wasn't your fault either, Angel. Willow didn't tell us it would  
hurt her." Dawn squeezed his hand again. She had always been   
perceptive for her age. At least, that's the way he remembered it,  
thanks to the monks who had created her. It was weird, but he hadn't  
actually known Dawn, his memories of her were a fiction created to   
protect her. But still, Angel felt a connection to Dawn - because of  
their love for Buffy and now over their shared guilt for Willow.  
  
It was his fault. He should have known that Willow was keeping   
something from him. He had known, but hadn't let himself see it until  
it was too late. Had he unintentionally sacrificed Willow for Buffy?  
  
If it was possible, Angel actually got paler. Buffy cast him a worried  
glance, but didn't say anything to him. She could see Dawn talking   
quietly to him, but he was ignoring the young girl. Angel was in a   
full-blown guilt brood and Buffy knew better than to interrupt it.   
The only thing that would snap Angel out of it was Willow walking   
through the doors to tell them she was fine. But that wasn't going to  
happen. Willow had died bringing her back to life. Buffy wiped the  
tears from her cheeks with an impatient swipe of her hand. She didn't  
feel worthy of receiving that much love. Sure, she saved the world,   
but when it came to the people that mattered the most - the people she  
loved - she couldn't do anything except pace a hospital corridor and  
wait for a doctor to tell her everything was alright only to have   
things not alright and someone she loved dead.  
  
This was tearing his unbeating heart out. Spike reached out and   
stilled the Slayer's frantic pacing. He pulled her into his arms and  
he could feel her tears wet his shirt. He could hear her heart   
pounding and the blood rushing through her veins, and for the first  
time in a long time the sound didn't just make him feel hungry. Spike  
wanted to spout sappy love poetry, something he hadn't done since the  
night Drusilla had turned him. He wanted to immortalize forever how  
he felt about his beautiful warrior goddess. He hugged Buffy closer,  
knowing that the only reason why she was letting him was because she  
was emotionally overwrought and The Poof seemed to be in some sort of  
grief-stricken brood coma. He had known that his grandsire had been   
soft on the witch, he had been as frantic as Buffy to find her that   
time he had kidnaped her and the moron. He had also been  
conveniently present whenever Red had needed her life saved. Spike  
wasn't stupid, even though the brooding Nancy-vamp was. He was just  
glad that Angel seemed to have lost all the designs on the Slayer   
that he had harbored for so long.  
  
"Willow can't die," Buffy whispered brokenly into his chest. Spike   
looked down at her blonde hair shining dully in the fluorescent glow of  
the overhead lights. For her sake, he hoped that the little witch did  
pull through. He liked Red well enough - had nothing against her  
really, and out of all of the Slayer's groupies, she would be the last  
one he would kill - but she wasn't his friend and he would feel no real  
loss in her death. He only cared because Buffy cared and because the  
witch had brought her back to him. He still had a chance. She was  
his world and for an earth-shattering moment he had lost her. He had  
to make it clear to her how much she meant to him before she went and  
died on him again. "Slay...Buffy...."  
  
"Willow!" Xander burst through the emergency room doors followed by  
Anya and Giles. "Spike! What happened to Willow?" At first Xander  
didn't bother noticing the person Spike's body was mostly blocking from  
his view. He assumed it was Dawn or Tara, the person was female, but  
Dawn was sitting beside Angel. What the hell was he doing here? If  
he was responsible for something happening to Willow... Maybe the girl  
standing in front of Spike was his best friend. Maybe she was fine -   
just a few scratches, a bump, a bruise. "Willow?" Xander took the next  
five paces in two strides.  
  
"Can't you see we're busy?" Spike whipped around, revealing the girl  
that had been obstructed from view.  
  
"Buffy," Anya said the Slayer's name since Xander and Giles seemed no  
longer capable of using their vocal cords. "Why aren't you dead   
anymore?"  
  
"Willow...she brought me back. I don't know how. Angel and Dawn were  
with her." Buffy moved away from Spike and stepped toward Xander and  
Giles. Impulsively, she hugged Xander. She met Giles' stunned gaze  
over his shoulder. "I wasn't too late this time, Giles. When   
Willow's heart stopped, I did CPR until the paramedics arrived and they  
started her heart again."  
  
"Her heart stopped." Xander backed away from Buffy. He walked past  
Anya and leaned his forehead against the wall. Just a few hours ago,  
he had been grieving for Buffy, but ever since he had found out about  
her being the slayer, he had known her death was inevitable. He loved  
Buffy, but he had saved a part of his heart to deal with her death.  
His heart couldn't live without Willow.  
  
"But it started again. That's good, right?" Anya touched Xander's   
back. She wasn't good at this and there had been too many dead people  
that Xander cared about in too short a time. "And Buffy's not dead  
anymore."  
  
"Buffy." Giles finally found his voice. In an uncharacteristic   
display, he crushed his former charge to him.  
  
"I'm so sorry, Giles, but I had to do it." Buffy looked up at him.   
"You understand why, right?"  
  
"Of course." Giles let her go. "I'm very proud of you, Buffy. Now,  
how did Willow do this?"  
  
"I don't know," Buffy repeated. She gestured over to the chairs.  
"Ask Angel and Dawn, they were there."  
  
Giles looked over, noticing Angel for the first time. The vampire  
ignored them and the confusion of their reunion, instead he stared at  
a set of double doors. "The book." How Willow had known about it or  
its location, Giles had no idea, she had probably been at his Watcher's  
Diaries again. She had obviously performed some sort of soul   
restoration ritual, he would have to get the specifics from Angel once  
they had learned more details of Willow's condition.  
  
"Mr. and Mrs. Rosenberg?" Buffy's surprised question brought Giles'  
attention to a distinguished looking couple who had just entered the  
emergency room. Buffy turned to Spike. "You called them?"  
  
"Hell, no. Had no idea that the witch had parents. Hospital must   
have." The blonde vampire shrugged. He sat down beside Dawn, who  
transferred her head from Angel's shoulder to his, although she did   
keep a grip on the dark vampire's hand.  
  
"Mr. and Mrs. Rosenberg," Buffy said louder to catch their attention.  
She wasn't concerned about shocking them, she doubted that they had  
heard she had died.  
  
"Bunny." And if they had, it's not like the name would have rang bells.  
Buffy offered Sheila Rosenberg a weak smile, but didn't correct her.  
"What happened to Willow?" Have the doctors said anything?"  
  
"I don't know what happened." That was partially true and besides,  
Buffy had no idea what Angel had told the hospital about what had  
happened. She was about to refer Willow's parents to her ex-boyfriend  
for the made-up details when a doctor walked out of the doors that held  
Angel's rapt concentration. It was the same doctor who had treated   
her mother. He consulted with the admitting nurse before approaching  
them.  
  
"Doctor." Ira Rosenberg stepped forward. "We would like an update on  
our daughter, Willow Rosenberg's, status."  
  
The doctor scanned their worried faces, his glance catching Angel's as  
he stood up. Buffy saw Angel nod slightly. "Well, Willow has suffered  
from a severe trauma to her system, all body organs seem to have been  
effected, but we've managed to stabilize most of them. Her brain has  
been influenced the most, there's some unusual activity on the E. E. G.  
Right now she is in a coma and is unable to breathe on her own. She's  
on a respirator and I can't tell you when or if she'll ever awaken."  
  
"But people do all the time," Buffy insisted. If she could come back  
to life than surely Willow could wake up from a silly coma. "You know,  
you hear about the guy who was in a coma for ten, twenty years and   
then one day - poof, awake. Faith did it and it didn't even take a   
year. Willow will wake up. We just have to wait."  
  
"No." Ira Rosenberg shook his head grimly at the doctor. "Willow has  
probably suffered from brain damage, if she did wake up she wouldn't be  
the daughter we loved. Waiting will only breed false hope. It would   
be in the best interest of everyone, Doctor, if Willow's respirator  
was removed."  
  
The announcement was met in silence until Sheila Rosenberg stifled a  
sob and turned away from them. Buffy wanted nothing more than to beat  
some sense into Willow's father. Didn't he know how wonderful,   
special, and important his daughter was to the world and to them?   
Didn't he know that they wanted her alive, brain damaged or not. If  
that doctor even twitched in Willow's direction, Buffy would hit him.  
There was no way he was getting near enough to Willow to unplug or  
remove anything.  
  
"I can't." With those words, the doctor saved his own life. "I'm   
sorry, Mr. Rosenberg, but this isn't your decision. It's  
Mr. McAlistair's." The doctor looked at Angel, obviously associating  
the name unfamiliar to the others with him.  
  
"Why would he have any say in my daughter's medical decisions?" Ira  
Rosenberg raised his voice and glared at Angel.  
  
"Because," Angel answered him quietly and calmly. "Willow is my wife."  
  
To be continued.... 


	3. Chapter 3

Part Three  
  
"My daughter is not your wife," Ira Rosenberg stated emphatically.  
"Willow would not get married or even engaged without her mother's and  
my approval and consent." He turned to the doctor. "This man is   
lying."  
  
There was nothing, short of the bogus papers he had ordered Merle to  
forge, that Angel could do or say to convince Willow's parents that he  
was in fact her husband. Angel didn't care what they thought, he was  
more concerned that the doctor looked uncertain. If he decided to   
take Willow's parent's word over his....  
  
"He's not lying." Help came from an unexpected source as Xander stood  
beside Angel. "I was there. Angel and Willow are married."  
  
While Ira Rosenberg's face started to turn red, Sheila wiped a tear  
from her eye. "Why didn't she tell us, Xander? I know we were a   
bit...harsh with her when she decided to stay in Sunnydale, but that  
was only because she has so much potential...we didn't understand why  
she would want to stay here." She turned to Angel. An open plea for  
understanding in her eyes. "Was it because of you? Was it because   
she loved you that she wanted to stay here and go to school? Why  
didn't she just tell us that? I would have understood."  
  
"She didn't stay in Sunnydale because of me, I live in L. A. Willow  
had..commitments here." Angel really didn't know what to say to the  
woman, he would need a clearer head to keep track of his lies before  
he told her anything else. Right now, he had only one thing on his  
mind. "The respirator stays on as long as she needs it. Willow will  
wake up."  
  
"You still haven't answered my wife's original question. Why would   
Willow keep your relationship from us? Alexander?"  
  
Xander looked to Angel. He really didn't have an answer to that one.  
He knew why Willow was keeping her relationship with Tara from them,  
she knew they wouldn't understand it and she was afraid that they would  
cut her out of their lives totally. There was really no reason why   
she would have kept a relationship with Angel a secret. Somehow Xander  
doubted that Willow's practical parents would believe that the reason  
why their daughter hid her marriage was because the groom was a two  
hundred and forty-eight year old vampire.   
  
Luckily, Angel had a much more plausible excuse. "I'm Catholic," he  
blurted out.  
  
"Oh, man, you should have gone with 'I'm a vampire,'" Xander mumbled   
under his breath just loud enough for Angel to hear.  
  
If Ira Rosenberg had been a less controlled man, he would have   
exploded. Instead he just clenched his fists and gritted out, "Willow  
was married by a priest? She converted."  
  
"No," Angel protested, realizing his mistake. It was bad enough in Ira  
Rosenberg's eyes that his daughter had married a man without his   
approval, but for Willow to also have disregarded the fundamental  
beliefs that she had been taught... "I respect Willow's beliefs and  
she respects mine."  
  
"It was a civil ceremony, with a judge," Xander jumped in. He still  
remembered that time Willow's Dad had caught them watching 'A Charlie  
Brown Christmas.' He had scowled disapprovingly every time he had saw  
them for a month, poor Willow had hung her head in shame so often that  
she had developed a crick in her neck. The last thing that his Wils  
needed was to wake up from a coma and find herself a Catholic married  
to a vampire totally disowned by her Jewish parents. Xander let out a  
silent sigh as Ira Rosenberg visibly calmed down, unclenching his fists  
while his color returned to normal.  
  
"I...I'm not a practicing Catholic," Angel added. He didn't have much  
experience with parents - as a human he had avoided them and as a   
vampire he had just killed them - really his only experience had been   
with Joyce Summers. This was different, he was claiming to be married  
to Willow and his upbringing would have demanded that he approach   
Willow's father first and ask his permission to court his daughter, not  
just marry her. What the hell was his thinking? He wasn't really  
married to Willow! He had no reason to feel uncomfortable and ashamed  
of his actions. Angel turned to the doctor, who had wisely stayed  
quiet during the family squabble. Angel assumed that the rest of the  
Scooby gang was just flabbergasted. "Can I see her now?"  
  
"Of course, but only two visitors and only for a short period of time."  
  
"I'm not leaving her."  
  
"Of course not," the doctor readily agreed with Angel. "She's been  
moved to a private room in ICU. It's down the hall and to your left.  
The nurse on duty will point you in the right direction."  
  
Angel turned to head that way when he felt a hand on his arm. "May I  
go with you, Angel?" Sheila Rosenberg asked softly. Angel nodded and   
she followed him down the hall.  
  
Buffy waited until Angel and Willow's mother disappeared around the  
corner and Willow's father walked away with the doctor before she said  
anything. "What the hell was that all about? Angel and Willow  
married! And what possessed you to help Angel lie?" She turned on   
Xander, pointing an accusing finger at him. Intellectually, Buffy  
understood Angel's reasoning - he could keep Willow alive because as  
her husband, any decisions about life support would be made by him -   
but it still hurt. Angel had once told her that because of the curse,  
he wasn't allowed to move on, and Buffy had been glad. If Angel   
couldn't move on and love someone else, then that meant that he would  
always love her. As the slayer, Buffy knew that she would never have  
a normal life, would probably never have children and that eventually  
her friends and family would die too. There would be no one to   
remember her, no one to know about the sacrifices she had made, no one  
to love her - except Angel. As long as Angel lived and loved her, then  
a part of her would always be alive. Buffy knew it was selfish, but it  
was how she felt. She didn't want Angel to be Willow's husband, not  
even in pretend. He belonged to her.  
  
"He saved her life, Buffy. Mr. Rosenberg wasn't joking, he was going  
to have that respirator removed and there was no way we could convince  
him otherwise." Xander glared at Buffy. "What's the matter, isn't   
Willow important enough to put a dent in your 'Buffy and Angel forever'  
shrine? Angel seems to think so." Xander swallowed the bitter taste  
his words left in his mouth. He knew he shouldn't lash out at Buffy.  
She was as confused and scared as the rest of them, but she was alive.  
Willow had sacrificed her life for Buffy's and Buffy wouldn't even let  
go of a relationship that should have died a long time ago.  
  
"Of course Willow is more important. I was just..surprised...and hurt  
that Angel even thought about pretending to be Willow's husband. I  
didn't think he saw her that way."  
  
"I wasn't surprised. Willow's beautiful. Why do you think I was so  
worried about Xander having sex with her?" Anya peevishly offered her   
opinion. All these silly emotions humans felt were starting to annoy   
her. She liked the feelings that sex caused - the love, the pleasure -  
she even liked feeling friendship, but the pain, jealousy, and  
confusion she could do without. It was stupid for Buffy and Xander to  
be fighting when they should be happy that Buffy was alive and that  
Willow would get better. And she couldn't believe that none of them  
had noticed how Angel looked at Willow. She had only seen them   
together that one time at Thanksgiving when Xander had been sick and it  
had been obvious to her that they both cared about each other more than  
they both wanted to admit. These people had spent years with them  
and hadn't noticed their burgeoning attraction at all. Anya shook her  
head. Denial, thy name is Buffy and Xander. "Angel has feelings for  
Willow and she has feelings for him."  
  
"Willow is my best friend," Buffy protested.   
  
"I noticed it too," Spike confirmed Anya's observation. He was kind of  
glad that the moron had interrupted his weak moment with the Slayer.  
It was obvious that she still loved his grandsire. Spike could live   
with her thinking that his feelings were a mere crush, but if she knew   
the true depths of his love and was unable to return it, he couldn't   
live with that. He had spent over a century with one woman who was   
overly infatuated with Angel, he couldn't do it again.  
  
"We'll save the debate about Willow and Angel's feelings for when   
Willow is awake and well," Giles cut in, placing a calming hand on   
Buffy's shoulder. "Right now I need to know what happened so we can  
begin researching. There may be a way to bring Willow out of this   
coma that has nothing to do with modern medicine." The group nodded.   
Now they were on familiar ground, researching the supernatural bad for   
the solution. "Dawn, I need you to tell me what happened." Dawn   
nodded and they all took seats in the waiting area. Hopefully by the  
time Angel came back from seeing Willow, they would have a way to   
bring her back to them.  
  
*****  
  
It was true. At first Sheila hadn't been certain that it wasn't a lie,  
but seeing Angel with her daughter convinced her. He loved Willow. He  
was her husband. She just stood back and watched as Angel caressed  
Willow's bright red hair, a recessive genetic trait given that both her  
and Ira's hair was a more sedate brown. It looked even more vibrant   
against the whiteness of her surroundings and the pallor of her skin.  
  
"Willow, honey, it's okay. It's me, Angel. I'm here with you and I'm  
not going to leave you," Angel murmured close to Willow's ear. He  
brushed a kiss to her temple, trying to ignore the constant whir and  
hum of the machines that kept Willow with him. "You're going to be   
fine. Your mother is here with me."  
  
Taking her cue, Sheila reached for her daughter's hand. "Sweetie, you  
rest and get better. There are a lot of people who love you.   
Especially your husband." She took a seat beside Willow across from  
Angel. His eyes never left her daughter's face as he stroked her cheek  
gently. "How long have you known Willow?"  
  
"Five years. I, uh, used to go out with Buffy." Angel decided to   
stick to the truth as much as he could, that way there was less of a   
chance of getting tripped up. "Willow and I kept in touch after I  
moved to L. A."  
  
"And what do you do there?"  
  
"I'm a private investigator. I do pretty well. Willow was going to   
move to L. A. and transfer to UCLA once her term in Sunnydale was  
over."  
  
"Oh. When did you get married?" There was a slight catch to Sheila's  
voice. It hurt that Willow had kept something so important from her.  
She knew that she wasn't as involved in Willow's life as she should be,  
but she had always thought that she would at least know that her   
daughter was married. And that she would have met the groom and been  
at the wedding.  
  
"Not that long ago, only a month. It was spontaneous, we were going to   
tell you once you came back from your trip." Angel took a shot in the  
dark and hoped that Willow's parents had just arrived back in town   
from one of their many 'conferences.' The lies were coming too easily.  
He had no trouble picturing it. He could see himself arriving at   
Willow's dorm room one night, breathless with desire and impatience.  
He would have swept her into a big hug, kissing her senseless and   
declaring that he couldn't live another moment without her. Then he  
would have asked her to marry him. Willow would have been stunned, her  
lips parted in surprise, but her bright green eyes glinted with   
anticipation and excitement. He had barely been able to hear her   
soft 'yes,' but he had and they had tracked down a judge, grabbing   
Xander and Anya along the way to witness. Xander had been a pain,  
grumbling about how in the world his best friend could be crazy enough  
to be marrying Deadboy, but he knew how happy Willow was and didn't   
protest too loudly.  
  
"That's wonderful. It's exactly what I would have wanted for Willow.  
But why would Xander refer to you as 'Deadboy?'"  
  
Angel started at Sheila's voice. He hadn't realized that he had   
vocalized the fiction his mind had spun. His mind struggled back to  
reality as he thought of an answer to Sheila's question. "He thinks  
I'm really boring." It worried Angel how effortlessly his mind had  
shifted from a 'might have been' to a 'how it happened' way of   
thinking. A small pang of guilt twinged in him. In all the years he  
had been obsessively in love with Buffy, he had never once fantasized  
about marrying her.  
  
He was still dwelling on that fact when Sheila stood up. "I'll leave  
you alone with Willow now. I just wanted to see her. You have to  
understand, Ira does love her very much, he couldn't stand to see her  
suffering or in pain. I think that he's afraid that if he didn't make  
the decision now, he wouldn't be able to later." She touched Angel's  
hand. "Thank you, Angel, for taking care of our daughter and making  
her happy."  
  
"I'll always take care of her," Angel vowed. He brought Willow's  
spiritless hand to his lips and kissed it and then rested it against  
his cheek. He didn't notice when Sheila left the room.  
  
Or when someone else entered. "How long are you going to wait to turn  
her?" Spike asked curiously. He entered the room just enough to close  
the door.  
  
"I don't have to turn her, she's alive." Spike noticed that Angel   
wasn't completely appalled by the idea of turning Willow. He also   
noticed that Angel didn't say he wouldn't, he was considering it.  
  
"Don't wait too long, Peaches, her muscles will turn to mush and her  
hair will go grey. Not attractive features in a vampire."  
  
Instead of snarling at him, Angel talked as if he hadn't heard Spike's  
jibe. "I could feel it, when she died. A searing pain in my chest,  
like my soul wanted to leave with hers." Angel was quiet.  
  
"Why didn't it?" The question wasn't sarcastic this time, Spike really  
wanted to know. He slipped into the chair vacated by Willow's mother.  
He had come into the room because he was bored with the 'Save Willow'  
project the others were so engrossed in and Buffy was ignoring him, so  
he had decided to get a rise out of Angel. He had also wanted to   
reconfirm his suspicion that Angel wasn't just playing white knight  
and that the witch had replaced the slayer in his heart.  
  
"Maybe because her soul didn't leave. It's still there," Angel finally  
answered. "When the gypsy who had done the original curse died, I   
felt it, but it wasn't the same. My soul didn't want to leave with   
hers."  
  
Spike's eyebrows rose. This was news to him, but it's not like he was  
ever interested in the intricacies of his grandsire's curse before.  
"You can feel what Red feels?"  
  
"I tried not to, it always felt like an invasion of her privacy, but   
some things still filter through the connection. The gypsy woman had  
used it to send me hate. She hated me with every fibre of her being  
and when she died, it was a relief at first. The hate was gone, but  
the guilt was worse." Angel stopped talking, lost in his memories of  
pain and despair. Spike waited anxiously for him to speak again.   
Suddenly, he wanted to know more about his grandsire, he wanted to   
understand how his soul influenced him - besides making him the Poofter  
he was. Maybe it would help him to understand how this bloody chip  
worked in his head, it sure was bringing out the sap in him with the  
way he had fallen for the Slayer and how he doted on Dawn. "Willow  
never really hated anything," Angel mercifully continued before Spike  
broke down and asked him. "She even liked you. I didn't think it was  
possible for that much love to exist in one person and I didn't feel   
worthy enough to be privy to it. I shut down the connection as much  
as I could, which was quite a bit considering that Willow wasn't aware  
of it." Angel laid his head on Willow's chest and clutched her hand  
tighter. "Please, Willow, let me in again."  
  
The bleedin' chip really had turned his brain to mush. Spike actually  
felt sorry for Angel instead of the anger and envy. Spike took  
Willow's other small hand in his own and gave it a squeeze. "Don't   
worry, mate, she'll come back to you. The birds never could resist  
you."  
  
Angel looked up at Spike and gave him a small smile of gratitude before  
closing his eyes and nestling his head more comfortably on Willow's  
chest. He could hear her heart beat sure and strong. He used it as he  
looked deep inside himself to guide him to the part of his soul   
connected to Willow. He had to open the link and use it to help her.  
She was in there somewhere and she was hurt, frightened, and alone.  
She needed him. He needed her more.  
  
*****  
  
"Willow used your energy as the Key to restore Buffy's soul to her  
body and she told Angel to break the connection when she started to   
draw more power," Giles summed up the events that Dawn just finished  
explaining. He took off his glasses and pinched the bridge of his   
nose. "What happened after Angel broke the connection?"  
  
"Willow finished the spell and Buffy was alive again." Dawn yawned.   
She smiled sleepily at her sister. "We were all so happy. Spike and I  
were hugging her and I was crying. Willow was standing away from us  
with Angel. Then she collapsed and he caught her. He said she was  
dead."  
  
"That's when I told Dawn to call nine-one-one and I started CPR," Buffy  
took over. "What happened, Giles?"  
  
"I'm not certain. It sounds like some sort of magical backlash from  
the broken connection between Willow and Dawn."  
  
"But she'll be okay, right?" Xander asked desperately. "We just have  
to wait for her to wake up and then she'll be okay. One hundred   
percent Willow."  
  
"I don't know, Xander. It's difficult to ascertain what damage was  
done and if Willow can recover from it. Maybe if I had the spell, I  
could do more research. Where's the book?"  
  
Blank stares met Giles' question. Dawn shrugged. "Maybe it's still at  
the funeral home," Buffy suggested. "I'll go get it."  
  
"Don't bother." Tara's voice stopped Buffy as she rose from her chair.  
The normally timid looking blond's face was set in hard lines. She   
handed a small black book to Giles. She glared at Buffy. "Willow  
killed herself to bring you back. She knew what would happen and she  
won't recover. The book is useless. She's dead and there's nothing  
any of you can do to bring her back."  
  
To be continued.... 


	4. Chapter 4

Part Four  
  
Silence met Tara's venomous attack until she burst into tears. Xander  
and Buffy both jumped up and went over to her in an attempt at comfort,  
but Tara pulled away.  
  
"I'm sorry, Tara, one of us should have called you." Xander touched her  
shoulder tentatively. "How did you know that Willow was here?"  
  
"I went to the funeral home. I thought she would be there, grieving  
for Buffy. I found the book and Buffy gone and I knew what she had   
done. She didn't have enough power to do that spell, she drained   
herself bringing you back, didn't she?" Tara turned her tearful, angry  
gaze back on Buffy. At this moment, Tara let the small sliver of   
jealousy she had always felt toward Buffy blow up and over-ride   
everything else. She knew that her relationship with Willow was   
different from the one Willow shared with Buffy, but she also knew that  
Buffy took precedence. If it came down to a choice, Tara had known   
that Willow would choose Buffy and she had. Willow had left her, not  
for 'boy's town' as she had thought Tara had been afraid she would,   
but for Buffy.  
  
"Willow isn't dead, Tara," Xander tried to assuage her anger. He led  
her down the hall toward Willow's room. "She's in a coma, but she'll  
wake up." They reached the ICU and walked to the window that gave the  
nurses a view into Willow's room. She lay on the bed, machines beeping  
and whirring around her. Angel sat on one side of her, holding her   
hand, stroking her hair, and whispering to her. Spike sat quietly on  
her other side just holding her hand.  
  
"Who is he?"  
  
"That's Angel. He, uh, has Willow told you anything about him?" Xander  
hoped she had because it was a long story and it was going to be   
difficult enough to explain Angel's lies. God, he hoped Tara went  
along with them and didn't cause a scene. If she protested, then the  
hospital might take a closer look at Angel's bogus claims and follow  
through with Mr. Rosenberg's orders.  
  
"He's Buffy's ex-boyfriend. She restored his soul. Why is he in   
there with Willow?" Tara watched the souled vampire as he caressed her  
lover's face. She watched his lips brush her temple as he leaned in to  
whisper to her once again. She had a funny feeling that she knew the   
answer to her question, but she didn't want to say it out loud. He was  
acting more like Willow's distraught boyfriend than an ex-boyfriend of  
her best friend. Tara was so engrossed in watching Angel's actions  
that she almost missed what Xander was saying to her. "He said he was  
what?"  
  
"Her husband. That way he can keep her on life support as long as she  
needs it. Her parents would have had it turned off." Xander cast a  
glance at the others as they joined them at the window, hoping for   
some support.  
  
"Angel saved Willow's life," Anya offered the support her boyfriend   
was seeking.  
  
"No he didn't. Her body is alive because of the machines, but Willow  
is gone, Xander." Tara turned away from the tender scene playing out in  
Willow's room. She couldn't watch it anymore. "Her power is drained,  
you don't recover from that."  
  
"But she didn't use her power, she used mine." Dawn looked to Giles to  
make Tara understand. "She still has hers."  
  
Giles started to answer when an alarm at the nurse's desk screamed.  
Immediately, the nurses jumped to attention, rushing into Willow's   
room. The gang turned back to the room and watched in horror as Willow  
convulsed on the bed. Angel held her hand and it looked like he   
wasn't going to let go despite the nurse who was trying to delicately  
extract his hand from Willow's. Finally, Spike intervened and dragged  
Angel from the room as the doctor entered it.  
  
"No, I...I can't leave her," Angel protested and tried to get around  
Spike, but his grandchilde held him back. He felt his game face start  
to come forth, but Buffy grabbed his arm.  
  
"Angel, Angel, you have to let the doctor help her." Buffy rubbed his  
back. Abruptly the blind shut off their view of the commotion in   
Willow's room. Angel lunged for the door once again, but she and Spike  
managed to keep him back. Buffy rested her head on his arm. "Willow  
will be okay. She'll be okay."  
  
"I was talking to her, telling her she was safe and she wasn't alone.  
She started choking and the alarms went off." Tears leaked from the  
corners of Angel's eyes. "I have to be with her. I promised I   
wouldn't leave."  
  
This time Buffy and Spike didn't hold Angel back, his re-entrance into  
Willow's room was forestalled by the doctor and nurses filing out.  
"Willow is fine," the doctor informed them before anyone could ask.  
"She was choking on the respirator. This happens when it is no longer  
needed. Willow is breathing on her own now."  
  
"That's wonderful, Doctor," Giles spoke for the group.  
  
"Yes, but she still isn't out of the woods. We don't know when she'll  
wake from the coma." The doctor turned to Angel before he left. "You   
can go back in now."  
  
Angel couldn't wait to get back to Willow. She had heard him and she   
was getting better. Buffy's hand on his arm stopped him again and he  
turned to her with an impatient growl. "Angel, this is Tara, Willow's  
girlfriend." He looked blankly at the girl Buffy gestured toward.  
Willow was his wife, she didn't have a...Willow wasn't his wife. He  
didn't know why his mind kept insisting on believing its own lie.  
  
"I would like to see Willow alone for a few minutes, if her husband   
doesn't mind." Angel caught the underlying jealousy in Tara's last  
statement. She refused to look in his direction. He couldn't say no,  
he had no right to keep her from Willow and why would he? From all  
accounts, Willow loved this girl. He shouldn't have this   
overprotective urge to keep Tara away from her. Overprotective, hah!   
He was the one who was jealous.  
  
"Yes, well, now that Willow has settled, I think it best that we leave  
and come back later in the morning. Buffy and Dawn, you need to sleep  
after everything that's happened and I need to look at this spell more  
closely." Giles gathered Buffy and Dawn, fully intending to take them  
back to his apartment and never letting either one of them out of his  
sight.  
  
"Giles, can you take Anya back to our place? I'm staying here with  
Angel." Xander hugged Anya before she could protest. "You're tired and  
you need to sleep. Giles is going to need you to look after the magic  
shop tomorrow." He stroked her hair and kissed her. "I love you."  
  
"I love you too." Anya changed her mind and left without voicing her  
protest. She didn't want to leave Xander, but she understood that he  
needed to be with Willow. She was proud that knowing that didn't make  
her jealous. Xander loved her.  
  
*****  
  
Someone had turned down the lights in Willow's room. The steady beep   
of the heart monitor cast an eerie green glow on her pale skin. Tara  
stood over her. She didn't want to sit down. She didn't want to hold  
her hand. She didn't want to do the things that Angel had already  
done. Besides, none of it would work. The others were hopeful because  
Willow was still breathing, but they didn't really understand how magic  
worked. Giles had an idea, but he was refusing to admit that this was  
something they couldn't resolve. Willow was dead.  
  
"I knew you would leave me." She had known it since that morning when  
they had their infamous first fight, the one that had left her  
vulnerable to Glory's attack. That morning had been the worst day of  
Tara's life, it was the day she realized that Willow wasn't hers. It  
had started out innocently enough. She had wanted to help Willow.  
Willow's magic was so strong and she was so anxious to explore it that  
she sometimes forgot to learn how to control it first. Tara had   
decided to surprise her with a soul bond. Through the soul bond, she  
and Willow could share their strengths and weaknesses. She could give  
Willow her ability to control their powers and Willow could give her  
the absolute certainty that she had that their powers came from   
some place good. After being brought up thinking she had a latent   
demon gene, Tara couldn't quite place the trust that Willow did in her   
magic.  
  
The spell hadn't worked. Willow's soul had already bonded with someone  
else's. Tara had thought it was Oz that morning and when she had gone  
to the funeral home to find the book and Buffy's empty coffin, she had  
been certain that it was Buffy, but it was neither of them.   
  
"I'm sorry, Willow, I'm not as strong as you are. I can't do this...I  
can't watch you like this and hope that you return to me someday when  
I know you won't." Tara leaned down and placed a kiss on Willow's   
lips. She had no illusions that Willow would wake up like this was  
some stupid fairy tale. She was dead. Not even Angel could change  
that.  
  
*****  
  
What the hell was taking so long? Instead of the still, desperate  
patience he had shown while Willow was being treated in emergency,   
Angel paced. This girl...Tara...had been in with Willow for hours -  
okay, minutes - but it was way too long. Angel was afraid she would be  
in there all night. She couldn't stay in there all night. If she  
did then he couldn't sit by Willow's side, feel her hair slip through  
his fingers and her warm hand in his, he couldn't hear her heartbeat,  
well he could, but it wasn't the same. He wouldn't be able to tell her  
that he was there. He wasn't.  
  
"Angel." Xander halted the vampire's agitated movements. "Tara won't  
hurt Willow. She loves her." He watched Angel's reaction to his   
statement and caught the slight flinch. So, Anya wasn't off the mark,  
Angel's idea to be Willow's husband hadn't come from out of the blue.  
Funny how this knowledge didn't bother him. He accepted the maturity  
that allowed him to see that Angel was a good, decent guy, and not the  
evil, hated rival his immature male hormones had made him out to be.  
  
"I'm sorry, Xander." Angel hung his head. It was obvious that Xander  
didn't know what had happened, otherwise the boy wouldn't be talking  
to him. "This is all my fault. Willow used Dawn's energy as the Key  
to bring Buffy back. I broke the connection when it started to hurt  
Dawn."  
  
Xander placed a hand on the tortured vampire's shoulder. "Look,   
Angel..."  
  
"You what?" Tara cut in after overhearing Angel's confession. After  
hearing it, she remembered what Dawn said just before Willow had   
started choking on her respirator. Willow had used her power, not her   
own. And this...bastard...who claimed to be protecting her was the one  
who had hurt her.  
  
"I broke the connection."  
  
The slap cracked loudly in the hushed environment as Tara's hand   
connected with Angel's face. The ICU nurse looked up from her station,  
but didn't interfere. "You killed her."  
  
"Tara, stop it." Xander pulled the girl back from Angel. "Willow isn't  
dead. Her power wasn't drained like you thought. Can't you at least  
try to have a little bit of faith? Willow never gave up on you."  
  
"There is nothing to have faith in, Xander. It's even worse than I  
thought. Dawn was Willow's power source and breaking the connection  
created a backlash that fried her brain. There is no Willow to give up  
on, she's already done it with his help. You killed her," Tara shouted  
at Angel. She tore herself away from Xander and stalked away from   
them. She couldn't stay here. Willow was gone and there was nothing  
left.  
  
"That was one pissed off witch. You're lucky she didn't turn you into  
a rat, Peaches."   
  
"Spike." Angel turned toward the voice to find Spike lounging in one of  
the visitors' chairs. "I thought you left with Buffy."  
  
"Nah, the over-protective watcher wouldn't have let me near her   
anyway." Spike really didn't want to admit that he had stayed because  
he wanted to keep an eye on Angel. The bloke didn't look good, more  
tortured than usual. Spike didn't want him doing something drastic like  
taking a walk in the sun if Willow didn't make it.  
  
"He'll have to. You have to tell Giles what Tara said. It might help  
with his research." Angel rubbed a hand through his hair. "And Willow  
also said something about the book and an anchor before she...passed  
out. It could be that she didn't have time to finish the spell and   
Buffy's soul may still need an anchor."  
  
Worry for the Slayer suddenly etched Spike's features. "I'm on it."  
He swept down the hall.  
  
"Let's go in and see how Willow is doing," Xander suggested and let   
Angel precede him into the room. Even with the new information, Xander  
didn't blame Angel. He sat down on the other side of Willow. She   
was so still. It was strange to see her so still. Willow was always   
moving and he knew for a fact that she was a restless sleeper. He had  
the broken rib from when they were five to prove it. "She didn't tell  
you that it would hurt her."  
  
"I should have known. I did know, but I refused to see it until it was  
too late."  
  
"Even if you had, you couldn't have stopped her." Now that he had seen  
her, Xander wasn't reassured. This sleeping wraith was not his Willow.  
Maybe Tara was right. Maybe there wasn't any hope.  
  
Angel looked up from his study of Willow's face to protest and saw the  
doubt as the boy looked at her. For the second time that night, Angel  
found himself confiding in one of the last people he had ever thought   
he would be telling his secrets to. "She was wrong, Xander, Willow   
isn't gone." Angel took a deep breath. Xander had reacted extremely  
and surprisingly well to everything so far, but this might finally   
send him over the edge. He knew how protective Xander was of Willow  
and their friendship. "I can feel her. When Willow did the soul   
restoration, it created a bond between our souls."  
  
"She didn't tell us that." For a second Xander wanted to call Angel a  
liar. He wanted Angel to be a liar. Willow was his best friend, if  
anyone was bonded to her soul, it should be him.  
  
"I don't think she realized it was there and I never told her. I tried  
to shut down the link as much as I could, but it's still there."  
  
"You can feel Willow's soul." Xander struggled to work past his initial  
jealousy and really understand what Angel was saying. "She's not   
gone."  
  
Angel cupped Willow's cheek. He could feel her. A small glimmer of   
warmth inside him. It would get stronger. "Willow will get better."  
Angel and Xander settled into a companionable silence as they watched  
over the red-headed witch who meant so much to them.  
  
*****  
  
Power. He could feel it like an echo resounding around the Hellmouth.  
Phife's lone velvety ear swivelled around on his mis-shaped oval head  
as he tried to pinpoint the epicenter of the delicious power. His pug  
nose sniffed the air. It was witchy power.  
  
The hospital. Phife's small, toothless mouth slobbered and his large,  
milky grey eyes swam with glee. A witch had gotten herself badly hurt  
and now lay helpless in the hospital. Her power was his for the   
taking. As long as he got there first.  
  
To be continued.... 


	5. Chapter 5

Part Five  
  
Hospital corridors were too damn bright. Phife sidled as close to the  
wall as he could get. Hollow footsteps warned him of someone's   
approach and he ducked into a darkened room. An orderly and a nurse  
aid walked by gossiping about their co-workers. Once they were out of  
sight, Phife slunk out of the room. He was almost at the ICU. That's  
where things would get tricky. Nurses were everywhere there. He would  
need a distraction.  
  
*****  
  
The steady thump of Willow's heartbeat was overwhelmed by the sound of  
the alarm at the nurse's desk. Angel lifted his head, instantly awake.  
He looked over at Xander, who had also become alert at the sound. The  
activity outside of Willow's room indicated that another patient was in  
distress. Still, Angel sensed something. His own feelings of   
impending danger were confirmed by Xander when he removed a stake from   
its hiding place at his back.  
  
They didn't need words. Angel stood up and walked without a sound to   
the door. With a quick flip, he shut the blinds, cloaking the room in  
further darkness. Xander moved to the foot of Willow's bed ready to  
back Angel up and protect Willow.  
  
A tiny slice of light appeared as the door was cracked open. Both men  
stiffened, waiting for the intruder to show himself. It could be a   
nurse or one of the Scoobies here to check on Willow. The triangle of  
light widened. Angel's nostrils flared as he sampled the newcomer's   
scent. It wasn't human. He took a step back as the door inched toward  
him. From his periphery vision, he saw Xander's hold on the stake   
tighten and he crouched in a fighting stance. The years on the   
Hellmouth and fighting by the Slayer's side had sharpened the boy's   
senses and fighting skills. Angel's attention turned back to the   
door. He found himself trusting Xander as he would Gunn or Wesley,  
something he had never done while he had lived in Sunnydale.  
  
The hesitation in the intruder's entrance took an abrupt turn as the  
door suddenly slammed open. Ready for such a tactic, Angel sidestepped  
the swinging door with vampiric speed. His hand lashed out, grabbing  
the demon by the throat and pulling him into the room. The door   
whooshed shut. With a quick jerk, Angel broke the thing's neck.  
Unfortunately, that wasn't how you killed this particular demon. A  
silver razor sharp tongue slashed out of the demon's small mouth and  
cut Angel's cheek. Angel hissed and vamped. He pushed the thing   
away from him and out of its tongue's reach. At the same time, Xander  
shoved his stake through the demon's chest, piercing right through its  
body until it poked out the back. As an added measure, Angel pressed  
his hands to the demon's temples, crushing its lumpy head. He dropped  
the body to the ground.  
  
"Is it dead?" Xander asked. He hesitantly knelt down by the creature's  
body. That was the trouble with demons, unless you knew what the hell  
it was, you didn't know what killed it.  
  
"It's a Bultak. It dies when its heart and brain have been destroyed."  
Angel walked over to Willow's side. She was still breathing evenly   
and her heartbeat was strong. More importantly, her soul still   
flickered through the link. "It's okay, Willow, you're safe." He  
kissed her forehead. He turned back to Xander. "We'll have to get rid  
of the body. Bultak's don't disintegrate." Angel spun around as he   
heard the door softly click shut. He moved swiftly to the door,   
pulling it open.  
  
"Oh," the startled nurse gasped, placing a hand over her racing heart.  
"Is everything all right?" She tried to look into the room, but Angel  
blocked her view.  
  
"Fine, everything's fine." Angel tried for a casual smile.  
  
"The blinds are closed. I have to check the patient."  
  
This was her job, Angel knew the woman wouldn't be dissuaded. He eased  
away from the door and let the woman past him. Xander sat innocently  
by Willow holding her hand. His sweater had mysteriously disappeared  
and he was only wearing his t-shirt. The body of the demon was also   
no where to be seen. The nurse crossed over and opened the blind.  
  
"The, um, commotion out there...we, uh, didn't want it to upset   
Willow," Xander offered a halting explanation. He watched nervously  
as the nurse checked Willow's vitals and the lines of the oxygen tank  
and IV that were connected to her. Angel hung out by the door,   
shifting his weight from foot to foot.  
  
The nurse gave them both a comforting smile, misinterpreting their  
restlessness. "She's doing very well. She might even be moved to a   
private room by morning. Until then, the blind has got to stay open  
so that we can keep an eye on her."  
  
"Of course. Sorry." Angel held the door open for the nurse. As soon  
she left, he turned to Xander. "The body?"  
  
"Under the bed. Why would a Bultak come after Willow?"  
  
"I don't know." Angel tossed Xander his cell phone. "Call Giles.  
Maybe he'll have an idea." Angel ran a hand through his hair and went  
to his place at Willow's side. He rested his forehead on her temple  
and stroked her soft tresses.  
  
"Hey, Giles. Angel and I have a bit of a situation. Could you come  
down to the hospital and, uh, maybe bring a really big duffel bag, a  
sharp ax, and some towels." Xander turned off the phone and handed it  
back to Angel. "He'll be here in a few minutes."  
  
*****  
  
The nurse at the main station turned to get herself another cup of   
coffee giving Phife the opportunity to duck out of another patient's  
dark room and leave the ICU. The witch was being protected by a damn  
vampire. And not just any damn vampire - it was Angel. Phife's black  
forked tongue flickered out of his mouth. He shuddered as he thought  
about the fate of the Bultak. He didn't want to end up like that.  
Phife left the hospital by the nearest exit. There would be another  
time to get to the witch and her lovely power. Preferably one when   
Angel's guard was down. Phife liked his mis-shaped head in one piece.  
  
*****  
  
Giles arrived at the hospital in the few minutes he had promised with  
the prescribed items. Intercepting the suspicious look of the nurse,  
he headed straight for her. "Hello, I've brought some things for   
Miss...Mrs. McAlistair, at the request of her husband. Clothes and   
things for when she wakes up." Giles held up the large duffel bag,  
well aware that it was more than what would be required. "I...wasn't  
sure what to bring."  
  
"That's fine. You can take it in, but please don't stay too long.  
Mrs. McAlistair needs her rest."  
  
"Of course." Giles crossed to Willow's room, relieved that he had  
remembered the last name Angel had given the hospital. Angel and  
Xander were sitting by her side. She was so pale. Now that he had  
worked through his feelings about Buffy's death and subsequent   
resurrection, he could concentrate on his concern for Willow. He   
never should have allowed the girl to play with magic the way she did.  
He should have had her sent away to be properly trained. Just because  
they would have all missed her desperately was no excuse. "What   
happened?"  
  
"Giles, thank God you're here. I think this Bultak thing is starting  
to smell already." Xander stood up and took the duffel bag from Giles.  
He set the bag down, reached under the bed and pulled out the body of  
the dead Bultak. A thin layer of silvery slime covered the dark  
scaled demon. Its head was twisted around and crushed and its silver  
tongue protruded from its mouth. A large stake was stuck through its  
body.  
  
"Do you have any idea why a Bultak would attack Willow in a hospital?  
Their hunting grounds are beaches and they don't usually go this far  
from the water," Angel asked Giles. He hadn't moved from his place at  
Willow's side.  
  
Looking at the demon and hearing Angel's question, something occurred  
to Giles that he should have thought of hours ago. Dear, sweet Jesus,  
if something had happened...if Angel and Xander hadn't been here....  
"She's a witch. Willow is a full-fledged witch. I still have trouble  
thinking of her that way, to me she's still just a child. You're all  
children, extraordinary children...."  
  
"Giles," Angel barked, interrupting his rambling excuse. "What's going  
on? Is Willow in danger?"  
  
"Yes, yes she is. As a full-fledged witch, Willow has gained her own  
power which she uses for her spells. Conscious and unhurt, this power  
is a part of her, other creatures would sense it, but wouldn't bother   
with it. In this state, Willow is vulnerable, her power isn't being   
used. It can be taken from her."  
  
"So, this guy isn't the last." Xander kicked at the Bultak.  
  
"I'm afraid not. The Hellmouth is acting as an amplifier. It's   
projecting Willow's inert power all around Sunnydale, acting as a   
beacon for all the demons here." Giles sighed. They would have to set  
up a twenty-four hour watch over Willow. He noticed a look exchanged   
between Xander and Angel. They must have already discussed this, but  
they couldn't possibly watch over Willow themselves. They too needed  
sleep and they would need help.  
  
"Xander, why don't you take Giles out of the room and make sure no one  
comes in. I'll take care of the Bultak."  
  
"Actually, Angel, I need to speak with you." Angel's hand immediately  
tightened on Willow's, like he was going to be pulled away. Giles  
frowned. Angel's behavior was puzzling. He lived in L. A., as far as  
Giles knew, he had had very little contact with Willow since leaving  
and, Anya's observations aside, Giles couldn't really believe that Angel  
had romantic feelings for Willow. Or maybe he just didn't want to   
believe it, it would explain why Angel was excessively reluctant to   
leave her for even a second. But then where had these feelings come  
from? They didn't just appear out of no where and they didn't just  
transfer from one person to another. If it was Buffy in that bed, then  
there would have been no questions, no mystery about Angel's behavior.  
There had to be a reason Angel felt so connected to Willow. "It's   
important."  
  
"Xander...."  
  
"No need to ask, Deadboy. I'll take care of clean up and keep watch on  
any demons that might come through the wall. She'll be fine, Angel."  
  
Angel nodded and followed Giles out of the room. Another puzzling   
thing was this sudden trust and friendship between Xander and Angel.  
When they had both been enamored of Buffy, they could barely look at  
one another without posturing like alpha males, but their mutual   
adoration of Willow seemed to have a uniting effect instead.  
  
"What is so important, Giles?" Angel leaned against the window looking  
in on Willow's room. He didn't look at Giles, his eyes never left  
Willow through the open blinds.  
  
"It's about the message you gave Spike, about what Willow said to you  
before she...lost consciousness." Giles paused for Angel's reaction and  
didn't get one. He hoped the vampire was actually listening to him.  
He wasn't kidding or being overly dramatic when he had said it was  
important. "You misinterpreted. I looked through the Book of Lost  
Souls and Willow had completed the ritual to restore Buffy's soul.   
She's safe."  
  
"Is Willow's soul in danger?" Angel looked at Giles now. "Is that   
what's wrong with her? Is that what she was trying to tell me?" There  
was a desperate gleam of hope in Angel's eyes. He wanted to be able to  
fix Willow with a quick spell. Have her whole and conscious like   
Buffy.  
  
"No." The gleam died. "You forget, Angel, we are talking about   
Willow. Her last concerns would hardly be about herself. They were  
about you and your soul."  
  
Of course. Willow would have thought about making his soul permanent  
while she had the book in her hands. That probably would have been for  
Buffy too. Willow was a romantic and had been their love's biggest  
champion from the beginning. She believed in it more than he and   
Buffy did. She was the only one who hadn't baulked at the thought of  
them together after he had returned from Hell. Angel took the book   
that Giles offered him and opened it to the page Giles had placed the  
silk bookmark.   
  
On the page was the spell that restored his soul. At the bottom was a  
footnote. Angel turned to the page it indicated. He read out loud.  
"If ever the soul is to know complete happiness without guilt, it shall  
leave, its purpose unfulfilled. If ever the soul is to know complete  
despair, it shall stay bound to the vampire until the creature is dust  
for it will have served its purpose and the creature may seek  
redemption free of guilt." Angel stopped speaking, the words   
resounding in his mind. Soon a name was added.  
  
Darla.  
  
To be continued...(I'm sorry, I love doing this) 


	6. Chapter 6

Part Six  
  
"That bitch!" Buffy hissed as she entered Willow's hospital room. That  
morning, as promised, Willow was deemed well enough to move from ICU  
to a private room.  
  
"Buffy?" Giles frowned at her. For a heart-stopping moment he thought  
that she might somehow know about the things Angel had told him last  
night. He dreaded the time when Angel would tell her, but it had to be  
done.  
  
"Tara!" Buffy glanced at Angel. He hadn't even looked up when she   
entered the room. Instead, his sole focus was Willow. He was   
whispering to her quietly while playing with her hair. "That bitch   
left Willow. I went to their place to pick up the things you asked me  
to and I found this." Buffy waved a piece of paper around before   
shoving the offensive thing at Giles. "I can't believe her! She just  
packed up and left and after everything Willow did for her, standing  
by her when she went looney tunes because of Glory. How could she do  
this?"  
  
"I don't know, Buffy." Giles folded the note. He watched Angel nuzzle  
Willow's ear as he whispered to her. Actually, he had an idea. Tara  
wasn't the type of girl to fight for a lost cause and she must have   
sensed something of the connection between Willow and Angel. From her  
note, Giles also knew that Tara had convinced herself that Willow was  
dead. Perhaps it was preferable to the alternative of her relationship  
with Willow slowly dying as Willow's bond with Angel grew. Giles had  
no doubt that the bond between the vampire and witch would grow and   
their feelings with it, the way Angel was behaving was proof enough   
that he wouldn't voluntarily shut the link down again.  
  
If she was really honest with herself, Buffy knew that her righteous  
indignation over Tara's abandonment was not all on Willow's behalf. She  
was angry with Tara for leaving because she was supposed to stop this  
madness. With Tara around, Angel would have had to step aside and let   
her sit with Willow and whisper encouragement. If Tara had been there,  
Angel couldn't be so damn convincing in his assumed role as Willow's  
husband. He still hadn't looked up. There was a time when Angel's  
gaze never left her when she was in a room. "Angel, how is Willow   
doing? Are you hungry? Because I can go to Willie's."  
  
"I'm fine. Willow's getting stronger." Angel kissed Willow's forehead  
and stood up. He didn't want to have this conversation with Buffy,  
especially in front of Willow. He was afraid that when Buffy became  
upset it would unsettle her. "Could I speak to you outside the room   
for a moment, Buffy?"  
  
"Sure." Buffy brightened. Angel wanted to talk to her! He would   
probably explain his behavior with Willow, let her know that he was  
protecting her because she was her best friend and had saved her life.  
Buffy set Willow's suitcase down and bounced out of the room.  
  
The hall was deserted. Angel let the door to Willow's room shut   
slowly. He didn't want to leave her, but this had to be done. "Buffy,  
we have to talk about Willow."  
  
"It's okay, Angel. I was hurt at first that you were pretending to be  
her husband, but I understand now. She's my best friend and you're  
protecting her for me. Thank you." Buffy touched Angel's arm. She  
reached up and pecked his cheek. She wished she could do more, but   
there was the whole 'husband' charade to keep up.  
  
He was afraid of this, that Buffy would make up reasons and   
explanations in her mind before he had a chance to tell her how he   
felt. Angel loved Buffy, he really did, but he wasn't surprised to   
find that he loved her in a distant, first love way. He had begun to   
realize that his love for Buffy was fading into memory when he had   
come to comfort her at her mother's grave. It hadn't been a heart  
wrenching experience to leave her. He had to face it, somewhere along  
the line, he wasn't sure when - it could have been before he left   
Sunnydale, after he had left, or just in the last few days - but he  
had let go of Buffy and had fallen in love with Willow. He admitted   
that to himself, but he wasn't about to tell anyone else - especially  
Buffy.  
  
"Buffy, I'm not doing this for you. I'm doing this for Willow because  
I know she's still with us and that she'll get better." Angel looked   
at Buffy to gauge her reaction so far. She was a bit perplexed, a  
small wrinkle above her brow marring her complexion. The good thing  
was that she wasn't mad. Yet. "I know this because I can feel her  
soul. When Willow did the soul restoration it created a connection  
between our souls. She wasn't aware of it and I never told her. It   
was part of the reason why I left Sunnydale, it was easier for me to   
shut out what Willow was feeling being so far away from her."  
  
"Oh," was all Buffy could manage. The man - vampire - she considered  
her soulmate was connected to her best friend's soul. How was she   
going to handle this?  
  
"There's more."  
  
"Really." Buffy braced herself.  
  
"In the Book of Lost Souls, Willow found another clause to my curse.  
It would make my soul permanent." He watched Buffy's face light up  
and stopped her from throwing herself into his arms. He gripped her  
shoulders. "A while ago this law firm I've been battling brought back  
Darla, as a human. I tried to help her, but I failed. Dru turned her.  
I let them kill people - evil people, but still people. I fired   
Wesley, Gunn, and Cordy and became obsessed with destroying Darla, Dru,  
and Wolfram and Hart. I wanted them all dead. I hit bottom. I knew  
complete despair and it made my soul permanent."  
  
"Angel that's wonderful. I mean, I'm sorry you had to go through all  
that, but it was for the best. Your soul is permanent." Buffy tried  
to move closer, but Angel kept her at arm's length. She didn't   
understand. They could be together now. Love each other. There was  
nothing to stand in their way.  
  
"I had sex with Darla."  
  
Except that. How could he have...And with her? She was a vampire, but  
so was Angel. "Only once?" At Angel's nod, Buffy sighed. It wasn't  
like it had been a relationship. He hadn't loved Darla, it had been  
just sex. Sex that made it possible for them to be together. And she  
really couldn't judge when she had been with Riley. "Well, like I   
said, your soul is permanent and that's all that matters. We can be  
together."  
  
"No." Angel didn't like doing this, hurting Buffy and dashing her  
hopes, but she had a right to know. Maybe now that she knew his soul  
was permanent and that their relationship still wouldn't work, she   
could truly move on. "I'm still a vampire and you're still a slayer."  
  
"That didn't stop us from falling in love." Tears flowed freely down  
Buffy's cheeks. She gulped to get air into her lungs. Angel didn't  
want her. He didn't love her.  
  
"I know, but you deserve so much more, Buffy. You deserve to have  
someone love you without guilt. There's too much in the past for us to  
start again. I want you to find that person who can give you that   
normalcy you crave so badly." Angel let go of Buffy's shoulders. Sobs  
shook her small frame, but he didn't reach out to comfort her. It   
wasn't his place anymore. "I'm taking Willow to L. A."  
  
"What?" Buffy snapped out of her grief. She had to have heard him   
wrong. Angel did not just say that he was taking her best friend away  
from her. "Willow's staying here."  
  
"It isn't safe for Willow on the Hellmouth. Last night a Bultak demon  
tried to kill her and steal her power. Her supernatural abilities are  
attracting demons now that its dormant."  
  
"We can protect her here. I can protect her."  
  
"She'll be safer in Los Angeles." This was the one thing that had  
always irked him about Buffy, her stubborn selfishness. She saw him in  
L. A. with Willow rather than Willow safe and away from the Hellmouth.  
"In L. A., her power will be muted and the demons won't be able to   
track her as easily. If she stays here, every demon within the town's  
radius will be drawn to her. You can't protect her from all of them.  
Do you want to take the chance that one of them might kill her? Do you  
want to be responsible for Willow's death?" Angel knew he was being   
harsh, but that was the only way to get through to Buffy. She would  
never do anything that would jeopardize Willow's life.  
  
"And what does Xander think of your wonderful plan?" Buffy placed her  
hands on her hips. It was obvious that her protests would be ignored  
and that Giles had already agreed to this insanity. Xander was her   
last hope. He might have backed Angel when he lied about being   
Willow's husband, but he would never trust Angel enough to let him take  
her away and keep her safe. He hated Angel.  
  
"I'm fine with it." Xander stepped around the corner. He had left to  
see Anya that morning and tell her about the plan he, Angel, and Giles  
had come up with and had returned around the time Angel and Buffy had  
stepped out into the hall. He had hung back, not wanting to interrupt,  
but not wanting to leave either. He was curious about how much Angel  
would tell Buffy. He hadn't actually expected the vampire to   
effectively break up with the slayer and firmly close the door on their  
relationship. His feelings for Willow did run deep. "Deadboy and his   
crew will keep Willow safe in L. A. He knows I'll stake him if he   
doesn't." He smiled to soften his words and to let Angel know that he   
did trust him.  
  
"The doctor gave his okay and I've got Cordy setting things up in   
L. A."  
  
"How can you protect her in a hospital in L. A. any better than we can  
protect her here?" Buffy threw her hands up. Without Xander's support,  
she knew that she was looking more and more like a jealous harpy,  
but she couldn't stop herself. She remembered the moment that she had  
shoved that sword into Angel's gut and sent him to hell like it was  
yesterday. The pain of losing him so violently and with what she had  
thought, such finality, had been indescribable. It still haunted her.  
When he had left her the second time, the pain had been different   
because she had known that somehow, someday they would be together.   
They had a second chance. She wasn't going to give it up. She wasn't  
going to let him go. She couldn't feel that pain again. It would  
kill her. "We can protect Willow together. You can't leave, Angel,  
we have a second chance."  
  
"We don't have a second chance, Buffy. I have a second chance. You  
have a second chance. There's no we involved." Angel looked sadly at  
the young woman he had once loved to the exclusion of all else. He  
wasn't an idiot, he didn't expect Willow to wake up and love him. She  
had no idea of his feelings for her and had been in love with someone  
else, so he wasn't giving up Buffy because of Willow. He and Buffy  
should have done this ages ago, but neither of them had been strong  
enough. It had been easier to believe that it was the curse that kept  
them apart, but they couldn't do that anymore. "The ambulance is   
transporting us to L. A. in an hour. Xander is following in my car  
and Anya will pick him up later. Good-bye, Buffy."  
  
It couldn't be that easy for him. He couldn't just say good-bye like  
that and mean it. Buffy turned and walked away. She wouldn't say   
good-bye. She couldn't.  
  
*****  
  
The place was spotless. The Hyperion's lobby gleamed, but still   
Cordelia fretted about, dusting the odd speck of invisible dirt. She   
was nervous. Angel was bringing Willow back with him and she was hurt.  
He had called and explained everything. How Willow had brought Buffy  
back to life, how she had collapsed and almost died, how he had   
pretended to be her husband to keep her on life support, how the demons  
were attracted to her power because of the Hellmouth, and - the double  
whammy - how his soul was permanent and connected to Willow's. It had  
been quite the telephone conversation.  
  
"It's okay, Cordelia," Wesley said quietly from his chair in the   
corner. "He's still the same Angel."  
  
"Except that he has a permanent soul and is connected to Willow. I  
wonder how Buffy swallowed that one?"  
  
"Considering that the girl brought her back to life and is her best  
friend, shouldn't she be okay with it?" Gunn asked. He didn't know too  
much about the Sunnydale people. He had asked Cordelia and Wesley a  
few questions after Willow's witchy display, but he still didn't have  
all the players straight.  
  
"You don't know Buffy. When it comes to Angel, she's   
obsessive-possessive." The front door opening stopped Cordelia from  
saying anything further. Angel escorted in two paramedics who had   
Willow on a stretcher. "Angel." Cordelia immediately walked over to   
them.  
  
"Is everything ready?" Angel led them toward the elevator. He nodded  
a greeting to Wesley and Gunn.  
  
"Yes, the room's ready." Cordelia followed along, trying not to stare  
at Willow. She was ghastly pale and something had to be done about the  
dark blue bruise-like smudges under her eyes. "I also called David  
Nabbit. He's arranged for a private nurse to come check on Willow as  
often as necessary until she's well. She'll be here in an hour."  
Cordelia watched Angel closely as he oversaw the paramedics transferring  
Willow to the bed. The conversation she'd had with Xander when she  
had called him after talking to Angel was actually looking true. Maybe  
she should apologize for calling him a moron. She had thought Xander  
had been overstating things, but it looked like Angel did have feelings  
for Willow, of the more-than-friends variety.  
  
"Thanks, Cordelia." Angel smiled at her.   
  
"No problem. Willow is my friend too and I want her to get well."  
Cordelia hesitantly moved to the side of the bed as the paramedics  
left. This was way too reminiscent of when Willow had been in the   
hospital and restored Angel's soul. She looked so vulnerable. "She is  
going to get well."  
  
It was a statement, not a question and Angel was thankful that someone  
shared his certainty. There was too much fear in the others for them  
to be sure of Willow's recovery. They were afraid that if they didn't  
prepare themselves on some level for her death, they would be  
devastated when it happened. Angel couldn't fault them for it, but it  
was another reason for Willow to be out of Sunnydale. "Thank you,  
Cordelia." Angel enveloped his Seer in a hug. She was his best friend.  
  
"Well, a girl can never get too much thanks."  
  
"Angel, how's Willow?" Xander walked into the room. He experienced a  
brief stab of jealousy at the sight of his ex-girlfriend hugging Angel.  
First Buffy, then Willow, and now Cordelia - how mature did the vampire  
think he had gotten in the last year? The guy was lucky he was head   
over heels for Anya. Xander shook his head and decided to ignore Angel  
and Cordelia's closeness. He knew it was platonic, Angel's feelings  
for Willow precluded anything else. "Hi, Cordelia."  
  
"Hi, Xander. Willow's all settled in. I've arranged for a nurse to  
come by and check her." Cordelia gave her ex-boyfriend a tentative  
hug. "We'll take good care of her."  
  
"I know you will." Xander moved closer to Willow and leaned down to  
talk to her. "I have to get back to Sunnydale, Wils, but I know you'll  
be fine. I'll visit every weekend and next time I expect you to hold  
up your end of the conversation, okay." He kissed her forehead. "I  
love you."  
  
"Hey, Xander, why don't you catch me up on the Sunnydale news while we  
wait for Anya downstairs." Cordelia ushered Xander out of the room.  
Angel was starting to fidget and she guessed he needed some time alone  
with Willow. "Maybe we can even tell Gunn embarrassing stories about  
Wesley when he first came to Sunnydale."  
  
"Like how you used to drool over him?"  
  
"Not embarrassing to me! I swear, Xander, if you say one word about  
that then I'm telling Anya about...." Cordelia's threat was cut off as  
Angel shut the door.  
  
They were finally alone. Angel took off his jacket and shoes and sat  
on the edge of his bed beside Willow. Her soul no longer flickered   
through the link. It was as steady as her heartbeat. He took that as   
a sign that their bond was getting stronger. He took Willow's hand.  
Angel leaned down and pressed a kiss to Willow's lips. He laid his   
head down on the pillow beside hers and curled himself around her body.  
"Welcome home, mo ionuin bean. My beloved wife."   
  
To be continued.... 


	7. Chapter 7

Part Seven  
  
The sewers didn't bother him this morning. Usually when Angel   
descended into the sewers after a night of fighting evil with Gunn and  
Wesley while they left in the sunlight, he felt depressed. But lately,  
he hadn't been down or broody at all. Every morning, he went home to  
Willow. Angel skipped away from a few beams of sunlight that streamed  
through a grate. He grinned. The hotel was only a couple of feet   
away.  
  
"Hey, Angel," Cordelia greeted him as she exited the kitchen and he  
entered through the sewer entrance. "Long night?"  
  
"Yes. We spent hours at that damn club before those kids left and were   
attacked. Next time, be a dear, and get a time from the PTB."  
  
"Sure, no problem, and while I'm at it I'll just ask for the names and  
addresses of future victims and that way we can avoid the brain pain  
visions too." Cordelia smirked at her boss. She liked giddy, happy   
Angel with a sense of humor. It was much better than broody, obsessive  
Angel with a tendency to fire his friends. She had had a long talk  
with Willow about the whole Angel/Darla situation and she felt a lot  
better about it. Willow was such a good listener. "So, what else   
happened? Because I know it didn't take you guys all night to dust a  
gang of vampires. I hope you weren't picking up girls, you are a   
married man, you know."  
  
Angel grinned. He was a married man. He wasn't even trying to   
convince himself that it wasn't true. Surprisingly, Cordelia not only  
allowed him to entertain his lies, but she encouraged it as well. "We   
ran into a nest of pissed off Bramson demons. How is Willow?" Angel   
grabbed a cup of coffee. This was the first time in the four days   
Willow had been in L. A. that he had left her all night.   
  
"She's fine, still in a coma though. Fred's up there keeping her   
company right now. She came in early this morning because I have an  
audition in an hour." Cordelia gathered her things from her desk.   
"She'll answer the phones while I'm out. I should be back before noon.  
Sleep well."  
  
"Thanks. Break a leg." Angel took the stairs three at a time. He  
reached his room and he could hear Fred's voice through the closed   
door. He rapped lightly before entering so he wouldn't scare the still  
jumpy girl. "Hi, Fred."  
  
"Angel. Hi." Fred scrambled up from the chair by Willow's bedside.  
She clutched a large book to her chest. Her eyes darted up to meet his  
before focusing on the floor. "Cordelia said you would be back soon...  
that I wouldn't have to stay very long...but I don't mind."  
  
"Thanks for your help, Fred. Were you reading to Willow?" Angel took  
off his jacket and hung it in the closet. He didn't really want to  
make small talk with Fred, but he didn't want to be rude or hurt her  
feelings. Fred was still adjusting to life back in their world and she  
was fragile. They were her only friends who would understand what   
she'd been through and not think she was crazy.  
  
"Yes." Fred smiled. She really like Angel, Cordelia, Wesley, and Gunn.  
She was even warming up to Lorne, though it was hard because he was one  
of Them from the Bad Place. The red haired girl, Willow, had scared  
her when she had first saw her, but Cordelia had explained how her best  
friend had just died and that she was a good witch. Now she was hurt  
because she had brought her best friend back to life and Fred wanted to  
help her new friends. Besides, it was so clear that Angel loved Willow  
and she wanted Angel to be happy. "It's a physics textbook. Cordelia  
said that Willow is really smart and I thought she might like to listen  
to something not written in Cosmo."  
  
"Yeah, I think Willow would find your choice of reading material more  
stimulating than Cordelia's. Although, I'm sure she enjoys both."  
He smiled when Fred practically beamed from his compliment.  
  
"I'll go downstairs now and look after the office until Cordelia gets  
back." Fred ducked her head and left the room, shutting the door softly  
behind her.  
  
This was fast becoming his favorite time and place. The early morning  
hours alone in his room with Willow. The only thing that would make it  
perfect would be seeing Willow's beautiful green eyes and hearing her  
sweet voice. Angel kissed her lips, every time he hoped she would wake  
up like one of the princesses in the stories his Mother used to tell   
him. "Good morning, Ionuin." Her hair was soft and she smelled like  
raspberries. With the help of Fred and the private nurse, Cordelia took  
care of Willow's personal hygiene. She refused to let Angel have any  
part in helping with that because she knew it would embarrass Willow   
when she woke up.   
  
There was one thing that they let Angel take care of - Willow's   
physical therapy. Angel removed the sheet that covered Willow's body.  
She was wearing a baby blue tank top and pajama boxers. He moved to  
the end of the bed and picked up Willow's foot. He massaged it   
thoroughly before moving onto her calf. Next he bent her leg and  
straightened it in gentle motions, working the muscles. While he did  
this, he told her about his night. He told her about the demons they  
fought, the kids they saved, how he felt about everything that   
happened, and the things that he, Wesley and Gunn talked about while  
they had waited for the kids to leave the club. He told her everything  
while he worked to keep the muscles of her limbs strong and supple.  
  
After that was accomplished came Angel's favorite part of their   
routine. He stripped down to his boxers and climbed into bed with   
Willow. He lay beside her and talked, but this time the things he said  
had nothing to do with reality. He knew it was wrong, but at this time  
he told Willow stories of their fake courtship. He couldn't stop   
himself from indulging in the fantasy and he figured the only real   
harm he was doing was to himself. It was his heart that would break   
when Willow woke up and returned to her real life.  
  
"Do you remember the first time I told you I loved you?" Angel   
whispered softly. His finger repeatedly traced the sweep of Willow's  
hair from the roots at her forehead to the end of the strands laying on  
her pillow. "I had known it for a long time before I told you, I just  
didn't know how to say it or if I should. You are so beautiful and  
perfect and I didn't think I deserved you. I don't deserve you. I  
know, I know, I'm not supposed to talk like that or even think such a  
thing. I was so nervous, I wanted everything to be perfect."  
  
Just as when he had told Willow's mother about his faux proposal,   
Angel could picture it clearly. It was like it was an actual memory  
of something that had happened. He briefly wondered if that was the  
work of the soul bond. If these were events that should have and would  
have taken place if he hadn't shut it down and not just ramblings from  
his overactive imagination.  
  
"I had this whole elaborate date in mind," Angel continued his story.  
"First dinner at an expensive restaurant and then a romantic boat ride   
where we would sip champagne until we reached this beach side inn. Our  
room would be decorated with roses and candles and then I would tell   
you. But you wouldn't co-operate. When you arrived in L. A. for the  
weekend all you wanted to do was take a walk along the beach in your  
bare feet and look at the stars. I could never say no to you. You   
looked stunning standing in the surf with your skirt hiked up past your  
knees. I couldn't help myself, I told you I loved you. You smiled at  
me calmly, the wind ruffling your hair, and you said you loved me too  
and wasn't this better than some stuffy restaurant. Your lips tasted  
salty from the ocean air and sweet because they were your lips and by   
the time we got back to the hotel before sunrise, our clothes were  
soaked." Angel smiled and drifted off to sleep with images of making  
love to Willow on the beach as the waves caressed their skin.  
  
*****  
  
The Power was gone. Phife had woken up one evening to find the sweet  
smell no longer wafting around the Hellmouth. At first he had thought  
that another lucky demon had beat him to it and that the witch was   
dead. After hanging out at the hospital, he learned that the witch's  
loving 'husband' had taken her home. It had been easy information to  
pick up, the handsome vampire and pretty witch were the hot topic on  
the hospital grapevine. Angel's love and devotion to his 'wife' was  
becoming a thing of legend or at least a really good romance novel.  
  
Now that the Power was no longer residing on the Hellmouth, Phife knew  
that he no longer had any competition. No other demon would go through  
the bother of tracking the witch, most would assume she was dead and  
the rest would lack two key pieces of information. One, the witch was  
with Angel, and two, Angel lived in L.A.  
  
Phife grinned. He was going to Hollywood! Maybe he would be  
discovered and become a movie star. Or maybe he would just eat one.  
  
*****  
  
The silence in the room was oppressive. They were gathered at the  
Magic Box - Giles, Buffy, Dawn, Spike, Xander, and Anya - to research   
a new demon that had popped up on the previous night's patrol.   
Everyone was trying very hard not to stare at the empty seat in front  
of the computer.  
  
"I miss Willow," Dawn voiced the thought everyone was thinking. "It's  
not the same without her. Or Tara."  
  
"Course it isn't L'il Bit." Spike mussed Dawn's hair. "Now we have to  
actually look for the answers and not just have Red tell them to us."  
To tell the truth, he actually did find himself missing the little  
witch. He hadn't noticed it before, but Willow was the only one,   
besides Dawn, who would give him the time of day. Buffy never even   
bothered to mutter a hello when she saw him. She was always too caught  
up in her own dramas - the current one being Willow in L. A. with   
Angel. To his utter disgust, Spike couldn't even bring himself to be  
mad or jealous of the Poof. Instead he actually missed him.  
  
"Why don't we go with Xander when he visits Willow on the weekend?"  
Buffy tried to suggest casually.  
  
"You want to go to L. A.? To Angel's?" Dawn looked at her sister with  
wide, uncertain eyes. She missed Willow and she wanted to see her,   
but she wasn't sure that she wanted Buffy to see Angel.  
  
"Of course. That's where Willow is." Buffy turned her attention back  
to the book in her lap. Angel had said that she had a second chance   
and she was going to use it to get him back. Once Willow woke up, she  
would go back to Tara and Angel would see that his infatuation with   
her was a lost cause. Buffy had to be there to remind him that their  
love was real and forever.  
  
*****  
  
"Wonderful." Cordelia rolled her eyes as she hung up the phone. "The  
Great Buffy the Vampire Slayer will be joining Xander when he visits   
Willow this weekend."  
  
"Isn't Willow her best friend?" Fred frowned. She could tell that   
Cordelia didn't care for this Buffy, mostly because Cordelia had said  
that she didn't like Buffy. But, Buffy was Willow's friend and   
Angel's ex-girlfriend. She couldn't be that bad.  
  
"I don't know about you, Fred, but I can't wait to meet Buffy," Gunn  
voiced her thought as he sat down on the arm of the couch she was  
sitting on. "She sounds like a piece of work."  
  
"Yeah, she does sound interesting."  
  
"Interesting, self-centered, Angel obsessed..." Cordelia caught sight  
of Angel making his way downstairs. "Hey, Angel, did you sleep well?  
Buffy's coming to visit with Xander this weekend."  
  
"What?" It took a few moments for the meaning behind Cordelia's words  
to pierce his sleep fogged brain. "Damn! I thought she actually   
listened to me this time."  
  
"Buffy could be coming to visit Miss Rosenberg. She is hurt because   
she brought the slayer back to life. She might not be coming here to  
see you, Angel," Wesley suggested.  
  
Angel and Cordelia both snorted at Wesley's interpretation of Buffy's  
motives. "Thanks for trying to keep me humble, Wes, but Buffy knows  
my soul is permanent. She thinks we have a second chance. I know she  
cares for Willow and probably does want to see her, but she'll also   
use this opportunity to try to renew our relationship."  
  
"Can I call her back and tell her she can't come? There's no room at  
the inn?" Cordelia picked up the telephone receiver. Angel shook his  
head, so she pouted as she replaced it. "Well, if Buffy is going to  
be here throwing herself at you, then I need the weekend off. I   
watched that for three years and I don't need to see the sequel."  
  
"That's not going to happen." Angel sighed. "I guess I'll just have   
to be more clear the next time Buffy and I talk."  
  
"Why don't you just tell her that you love Willow now." Fred recoiled  
at the stunned looks directed her way. "Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot we  
weren't supposed to say that out loud."  
  
*****  
  
That hit the spot. Phife slurped the marrow from the last bone of the  
demon who had so helpfully informed him to stay away from the Hyperion  
Hotel because a vampire named Angel who killed demons lived there. He  
had even given him directions to the place. Phife rotated his ear.  
He hadn't needed directions, as soon as he had materialized in Los  
Angeles, he had caught the sweet, lovely scent of the Power. He waved  
his long, sharp-clawed finger in intricate motions in the air while he  
muttered a chant. In a whirl of dust, his deformed figure dissolved   
from his place in the alley and manifested in an alley just behind the  
Hyperion. Not for the first time, Phife wished that his teleportation  
spell could materialize him within buildings, but there was too much  
danger of becoming a part of the building instead.  
  
It took him a few moments to come up with a plan of attack. The late  
afternoon sun still shone in the sky, so Angel had to be at home.   
Entering the hotel through the sewers was too risky, if the vampire  
did leave he would use them. The back entrance was his best bet.   
Slip up the back stairs and into the little witch's room. She would  
be dead before Angel even knew she was in danger.  
  
*****  
  
No one knew what to say after Fred's apology. They had all realized  
Angel's feelings, he had hardly tried to hide them and there was no  
one here who actually thought he was her husband. The reason why none  
of them had said anything was they weren't sure if Angel knew how he  
felt about the comatose witch.  
  
"I can't tell Buffy that, Fred," Angel said gently. "I would rather  
we kept it between ourselves. When Willow wakes up, she's not going   
to feel the same way. She'll go back to Sunnydale and I don't want   
there to be any tension there for her because of me."  
  
"Oh, Angel." Cordelia immediately got up and moved to the vampire so  
she could hug him. It wasn't fair. Now that her friend could be   
happy because his soul was secure, he couldn't be happy because the  
woman he loved was oblivious.  
  
"Thanks. I'm going to go check on Willow. What time is the nurse   
supposed to be here?"  
  
"Seven."  
  
Good, that would give him enough time. Now that he had been forced to  
contemplate reality, he had this unescapable need to be with Willow.  
He needed to smell her, touch her, hear her heart beat, and feel her  
soul through the link while he could. Before she went away and left  
him alone.  
  
*****  
  
Phife smothered a cry of glee as he found the witch alone in a room.  
She lay still and helpless on a large bed. He climbed up and bent   
over her. Her skin was so white and delicate. She was quite ugly.  
Phife's ear twitched on top of his head. The Power was so close. He  
traced a line across the witch's throat with his claw, but didn't   
break the skin. His forked tongue flickered out and touched her cheek.  
From the short, sharp claws on his two fingers, larger talons   
unsheathed.  
  
A feral growl behind him alerted Phife to the vampire's presence, but  
too late. He sailed across the room and hit the wall. His ear   
crumpled and bent over in a broken angle. Phife screeched.  
  
Angel was about to attack the weirdly deformed demon, that vaguely  
reminded him of Yoda, to rip its lumpy head from its shoulders when it  
screamed. The sound perforated his brain with dagger proficiency and  
he clapped his hands over his ears and barreled toward the thing.  
As he got closer, the pain increased and Angel fell to his knees. He  
looked up to see two claws going for his throat. Abruptly, the sound  
and the claws disappeared in a crackling swirl of blue fire. Angel  
slowly took his hands from his ears.  
  
"Angel?" Willow's soft voice was a soothing balm to his sense of   
hearing. "Are you okay?"  
  
"Willow." Angel stumbled to the bed where Willow was now sitting up   
and without thinking, he kissed her. "You're awake."  
  
"What the hell is going on in here?" Cordelia led the charge into  
Angel's room, all of them armed with some sort of weapon. "Willow,  
you're awake!"  
  
"Yes. Did I sleep in?" Willow smiled at the group, a bit confused.  
  
"You could say that. You've been in a coma for almost a week."   
Cordelia stopped talking and let Angel take over the rest of the   
explanation. Willow was acting strangely. She didn't seem at all   
wigged to have woken up in Angel's bed in L. A.  
  
"The spell you did took too much out of you when I severed the link  
between you and your power source. You were in a coma and everyone  
thought you would die. But now you're awake. I knew you wouldn't  
leave me...us." Angel couldn't stop himself from petting her hair.  
Willow just smiled warmly at him. "Xander and Buffy will be ecstatic  
to know you're awake and fine. You are fine, right? How do you feel?"  
  
"Fine." Willow frowned. She waited to get Angel's attention again   
after he was finished checking her for any injuries the demon may have  
caused. "Angel, who is Buffy?"  
  
To be continued.... 


	8. Chapter 8

Part Eight  
  
"You don't know who Buffy is?" Angel's hands stilled at Willow's  
wrists. She was supposed to be fine. He touched her forehead. A   
small red mark marred her cheek.  
  
"Have I met her? Xander didn't break up with Anya and start dating  
this Buffy person, did he?"  
  
"No, no, Buffy and Xander aren't dating." Angel ran his hands up and  
down Willow's arms to calm her. "What's the last thing you remember?"  
  
"I...I was in Sunnydale. I had to do a spell...everything's fuzzy."  
Willow rubbed her forehead. A dull thudding started behind her eyes.  
  
"You know who I am, right?" Cordelia asked.  
  
"Of course." Willow smiled, her headache disappearing. "You're   
Cordelia, he's Wesley, he's Gunn, and she's Fred." Willow pointed each  
of them out in turn. She snuggled closer to Angel. "And you are my  
Angel. What are you going to ask me next? When Angel and I got   
married?" Willow laughed softly. She closed her eyes for a moment,  
suddenly weary, so she missed the jaws dropping in the room.  
  
"Um, uh, actually that is a standard question when conducting a   
neurological exam." Wesley adjusted his glasses. He had an idea about  
what had happened. Now he needed to know what Willow remembered to  
confirm it. "When did you and Angel get married?"  
  
"A month ago." Willow laced her fingers with Angel's. She still   
couldn't believe that they were together, that Angel had overcome his  
belief that he didn't deserve happiness. She loved him so much.  
  
Angel listened to Willow repeat the story he had given her mother about  
his proposal and their elopement. His fantasy was coming true. He was  
married to Willow and she loved him. It shone in her eyes when she  
looked at him. He could feel it in her touch when she reached up and  
caressed his cheek. She wasn't going to leave him.  
  
"And, ahem, you do remember that Angel is...ah, that is, he is a..."  
Wesley stumbled. If the girl didn't remember anything of slayers,  
vampires, and demons, than things would get difficult.  
  
"A vampire? Yes, Wesley, I remember. I also remember that you were a  
watcher like Giles was, Gunn is a demon hunter, Fred was sucked into  
an alternate dimension, and Cordelia is a Seer for the PTB. Oh, and  
I'm a witch. Is there anything else you would like to ask me?" Willow  
grinned at the watcher. She knew her friends were worried about her,  
but she didn't quite know why. Her memory was fine, she remembered  
Angel and their life together and that was all that mattered.  
  
"You don't remember Buffy at all?" Cordelia took over the questioning.  
She stepped closer to the bed. Maybe whatever Willow had, she could  
catch it.  
  
"No, but obviously I'm supposed to. Who is she?"  
  
"Buffy is the vampire slayer," Wesley started to explain.  
  
"What?" Willow interrupted with sudden panic. "Did something happen to  
Faith?"  
  
"No," Angel answered. "Faith is fine."  
  
"Good. I thought for a minute there that something had happened to   
her in prison. It would have been so sad for her to die when she's  
working so hard to redeem herself. Don't do that to me, Wesley."  
  
"Sorry." Wesley sent Angel an apologetic look when the vampire glared  
at him. They would have to watch what they said. Willow's memory   
seemed to be mostly intact, which would fit in with his theory.  
  
"Buffy is your best friend, Willow." Cordelia decided to explain.  
"She went to...."  
  
"Ahhh!" Willow screamed and bent over, holding her head. Lightening  
pain flashed through her brain.  
  
"Willow!" Angel held her. He didn't know what to do. He didn't know  
what was wrong. "What's wrong, Ionuin? How can I help?"  
  
"Nothing. I'm fine." Willow lifted her head and gave Angel a weak   
smile. "Just a really bad headache. I'm sorry, Cordelia, you were   
telling me how I know Buffy."  
  
"Yes, in Sunnydale...."  
  
"Buffy has taken over for Faith," Wesley interrupted. "You only met  
her the once when we went to Sunnydale to pack your things for your  
move to Los Angeles and to do the spell. It was a healing spell for  
Buffy, so that's why we thought you should remember her. You should  
get some rest now, Miss..Willow. You've been through an ordeal."  
  
"Wesley's right." Angel lowered Willow down onto the pillows. Her eyes  
were already drifting closed. "I'll be right back. I have some   
business to discuss with Wes," Angel whispered. Willow nodded sleepily  
and let go of his hand. Angel kissed her forehead and left the room  
with the others. "What's going on?" Angel asked as soon as they were   
downstairs.  
  
"Since you brought Miss R..Willow here, I've been researching power  
linkages and what happens when they are severed. As we know, it  
creates a backlash that short circuits the brain of the witch. Willow  
has recovered, something very rare I might add, but not fully. Because  
Buffy was the focus of the spell and Dawn was the power source, the  
parts of Willow's brain that contained her memories of them has  
sustained the most damage." Wesley paced the lobby as his theory took  
shape. "Most likely, Willow was supposed to stay in a coma until her  
synapses were fully recovered, but something woke her up...."  
  
"She was attacked by a demon. I threw it off her and it screamed.   
The sound immobilized me and it was about to rip my throat out when  
Willow blasted it," Angel summarized the skirmish in his bedroom.  
  
"Ah." Wesley nodded. It was all falling into place. "Willow awoke  
and her consciousness needed to fill in the holes in her memory. She  
recognized Gunn and Fred and knew some of their backgrounds and she   
knew of your fictitious story about being her husband, so her  
subconscious must have picked up on things she had heard while in a   
coma. Angel, that story about your elopement, you looked like you had  
heard it before."  
  
"I told it to her Mom," Angel confirmed. "So, uh, everything she   
heard, she thinks happened?"  
  
"To a certain degree. It would depend if it fit in with her actual  
memories. Of course, she would have to make up memories of your  
courtship and life as a married couple." Wesley didn't notice Angel  
shift uncomfortably or Cordelia raise her eyebrow at the vampire. She  
had walked in on Angel during one of his story telling sessions with  
Willow and knew that if Willow remembered anything about her   
relationship with Angel, it wasn't her imagination that came up with  
it. Wesley continued, oblivious to the exchange between the seer and  
the vampire. "The mind is a complex and wondrous thing. It's   
capable of...."  
  
"So, what do we do?" Gunn cut Wesley off mid-lecture. He wanted a plan  
of action. "Tell Red the truth?"  
  
"No. You saw what happened when Cordelia tried. I think it would   
cause Willow great pain if we tried to force the memories on her and  
I don't think she would retain them if we did." Wesley glanced at  
Angel. He wasn't sure if what he was about to suggest would be good  
for his friend, but it was their only option. Hopefully, if Willow  
recovered fully and moved on, Angel could do so as well. "It's also  
possible that forcing her memory could cause her mind to shut down,  
sending her back into a coma or...it could kill her."  
  
"No one mentions Buffy," Angel ordered unnecessarily. "And there is  
no way she can come here to visit. Seeing Buffy might trigger a memory  
Willow isn't ready for. I say we stick with what Willow believes."  
  
"Can I be the one to call Buffy and tell her she can't come because  
you're shacking up with her best friend?" Cordelia grinned and bounced  
on her toes. She had to be the one who told Buffy. It was petty.  
It was jealous. It was shallow and bitchy. It was all the things she  
was supposed to have grown out of in her journey to being a better  
person, but Cordelia didn't care. Buffy had moved in and messed up her  
perfect highschool existence. She had lorded over the fact that she  
had Angel, the hottest guy in town, and no matter what she did,   
Cordelia couldn't have him. Not that Cordelia wanted Angel now, she   
just didn't want Buffy to have him. He was her friend and she knew he  
deserved better than the tortuous relationship he and Buffy shared.  
  
"Only if you don't say it like that." Angel shook his head as Cordelia  
practically dove for the phone. "Could you also call the nurse and  
tell her that Willow has woken up. Don't say anything about the   
memory loss, we already know what caused it and we don't need nurses  
and doctors messing around with something they don't truly understand."  
  
"They would be interested in the specificity of her memory loss,"  
Wesley agreed. "They might even recommend that we try to jog her  
memory."  
  
"The nurse will be here in a few minutes." Cordelia hung up the phone.  
"Now I get to call Buffy."  
  
"What's to stop her from coming anyway?" Gunn asked. He didn't want   
to burst Angel's balloon of happiness or ruin Cordelia's fun, but it  
was a possibility. "From what you've said about her, it sounds like  
she doesn't need anyone's permission to do what she wants."  
  
"Exaggerate. Tell her that if Willow sees or hears her or if we even  
talk about her, then Willow will die. Buffy is stubborn and impulsive,  
but she won't take a chance with a friend's life. After Cordelia is  
done talking to Buffy, can you give Giles a clearer explanation,   
Wesley?"  
  
"Of course."  
  
"Good. I'm going upstairs to see how Willow is doing. Could you send  
the nurse up when she gets here?" At their nods, Angel left them to  
their business and went back up to Willow. His wife.   
  
*****  
  
A sharp stinging sensation on her cheek woke Willow again, but this  
time she didn't find Angel almost getting his throat ripped out when  
she opened her eyes. She touched her cheek and uttered a healing   
spell. The stinging stopped just as the bedroom door opened and Angel  
entered. Worry still creased his brow and she wished she could make  
it go away. She knew he was worried because she couldn't remember the  
new slayer...Bunny?  
  
"Hey." Angel sat down on the bed beside her and kissed her forehead.  
"How are you feeling?"  
  
"I'm fine. You're worried." Willow brushed her thumb across his brow.  
"What did Wesley say about my selective amnesia?"  
  
"He thinks it's a side effect of the spell." Angel closed his eyes and  
reveled in Willow's soft touch as she caressed his face. He took her  
other hand in his. "Does there seem to be any holes in your memory?  
Things that are fuzzy?"  
  
"A few." Willow threaded her fingers through Angel's hair, scraping his  
scalp lightly with her nails. She shifted closer to him. "A few   
things aren't very clear. I know that we weren't together when I was  
in highschool. I was dating Oz and you were..." Willow frowned, the  
headache that had disappeared with sleep returning. "I know that you  
lost your soul for a while, but I can't remember how it happened."  
  
"I had a moment of complete happiness." Angel didn't elaborate further.  
He let go of Willow's hand and slipped his arms around her waist,  
leaning into her. "You restored my soul."  
  
"And I obviously took care of that happiness problem." Willow closed  
the rest of the gap between them and kissed him. She sucked his lower  
lip into her mouth and ran her tongue across it. Angel opened his  
mouth wider, allowing her exploring tongue more access while   
undertaking a little expedition of his own.  
  
Reluctantly, Angel broke the kiss. He couldn't let this go too far.  
He couldn't take advantage of Willow. "Is there anything else?"  
  
"What?" Willow was still lost in the tingling feeling their kiss had  
produced. "Oh, right, fuzzy memories. I can't remember how you  
ended up in Hell. When I try to remember, my head starts to hurt."  
  
"Then don't think about them. When you're ready to remember, you   
will." Angel toyed with a strand of her hair, suddenly sad. He didn't  
want Willow to remember, because then she wouldn't be his wife. She  
wouldn't love him. "Focus on the things you do remember."  
  
"Like you." Willow smiled. "I remember that the best thing I ever did  
was bring you out of Hell." She leaned in to kiss him again, but  
Angel pushed her back slightly.  
  
"You did that? How?" He had always thought that the PTB had brought  
him out of Hell to be their warrior. He couldn't believe that this  
delicate girl had the wherewithal to drag him out of Hell, actually he  
did. Willow had always been stronger than she looked, what he didn't  
believe was that she had cared enough about him to do it.  
  
"I could feel your pain. They were tormenting you. I used to fall   
asleep crying thinking about what they did to you." Tears sprang to  
Willow's eyes and Angel kissed them away as they made their way down  
her cheeks. He hadn't realized that their link had been active during  
his time in Hell. He had thought she would have been spared that.  
"I had to get you out of there. I used this ring of yours - I can't   
remember where I got it - as a focal point in a retrieval spell. The  
spell was supposed to bring you to the ring. I thought it hadn't  
worked because you didn't appear right away. Then I felt your pain  
lessen and then finally you were back."  
  
"Oh, God, Willow, I didn't know you had done that." Angel hugged her.  
He rained kisses over her face. "Thank you. Thank you for my soul...  
my life. I owe you so much."  
  
Willow cupped Angel's face in her hands. "You don't owe me anything,  
Angel. You love me and I love you."  
  
Those words shivered through Angel's system. Willow loved him. His  
heart swelled and he thought it might actually beat. "I love you,  
Ionuin." Angel captured Willow's lips, sweeping his tongue into her  
mouth. Willow moaned and pulled him down onto her as she lay back on  
the bed. Her hands moved to his chest, unbuttoning his shirt and   
slipping inside to play across his cool skin. Angel purred into her  
ear as he buried his face into the soft curtain of her hair. He   
squeezed her hip and eased his fingers under the waistband of her   
pajama boxers.  
  
"Angel!" Willow thrust up toward him. She had never felt anything like  
she felt in his arms. He loved her so completely, without reservation  
or condition. He never expected her to be anyone but who she was.  
Willow had never had anyone love her like that before. She groaned in  
disappointment when a knock on the door caused Angel to pull away from  
her.  
  
"That's the nurse." Angel found himself panting from the effort it  
had taken to tear himself away from her silken skin and sweet taste.  
"I asked Cordelia not to say anything about your memory loss because  
of the spell."  
  
"What memory loss?" Willow opened her eyes in a wide innocent stare.  
"Do I have memory loss?" She was rewarded with another kiss from   
Angel, but it was too brief. She sighed and pouted as he left their  
bed and opened the door to the overly cheerful private nurse.  
  
*****  
  
The lobby was conspicuously empty except for Cordelia. She had chased  
the others out after she had decided she was the best one to talk to  
Angel. She was the only one who knew both Willow and Angel really   
well. Cordelia looked up from her magazine when she heard Angel   
coming down the stairs. She couldn't help noticing that his hair was  
rumpled and he was buttoning his shirt. There hadn't been enough time  
for Angel to do something irreparably stupid, so it couldn't be too   
late for The Talk.  
  
"Where did everyone go?" Angel looked around the strangely empty lobby.  
He had just gotten used to having people in it again. "Did Wesley  
talk to Giles?"  
  
"Yes, he explained everything and Giles will stress the fact that Buffy  
can't see Willow when he tells her. She was doing the sister bonding  
thing with Dawn when I called so I didn't get to tell her." Cordelia  
was positive that the PTB were conspiring to make her be a better   
person, but couldn't they have at least given her this one little bit  
of satisfaction? It was the least they could have done to make up for  
the migraines.  
  
"Sorry. So, why did the others leave?" Angel didn't like the look in   
Cordelia's eye and he definitely did not like the fact that they were  
alone. This was their gathering place, unless they were out on a case.  
Gunn and Wesley were always here at this time of the day and Fred, she  
spent as much time in the hotel as possible because it was her safe   
haven from the world she was no longer used to.  
  
"I told them to go for coffee. We need to talk about Willow and this  
plan to go along with what she believes." Cordelia put down her  
magazine and moved from behind the front desk. She gestured for Angel  
to join her on one of the lobby couches.   
  
"What about it? It was Wesley's idea." Angel tried for casual   
ignorance. He knew what she was concerned about and if he could blush  
guiltily, she would know that he had already given in to a little bit   
of temptation.  
  
"Willow believes you are her husband. What happens when she expects  
you to perform your husbandly duties? A situation that doesn't look  
all that unfamiliar to you." Cordelia was afraid for Angel. She had  
eavesdropped - once by accident, the rest on purpose - when he would  
tell Willow about their fantasy life together. He loved the witch and  
Cordelia didn't want him doing something he would regret.  
  
"I talked to the nurse. I told her that I thought Willow looked pale  
and weakened. She's going to recommend that she rest and not engage  
in any strenuous activity. That should postpone things for a few days  
and after that...I don't know." He was at a loss. He knew it would be  
so very wrong for him to take advantage of Willow's amnesia, but he   
didn't think he could stop himself. Maybe he needed Cordelia to read   
him the riot act and remind him that Willow would hate him once she   
remembered the truth.  
  
"May I make a suggestion?" At Angel's nod, Cordelia continued, "Go   
for it." She almost laughed aloud at his stunned expression. He had  
been expecting her to give him a 'no sex' lecture, as were Wesley and  
Gunn, but she didn't see things that way. "You deserve happiness,   
Angel, for however long you're allowed it. I say take it."  
  
"Willow will hate me."  
  
"Willow could never hate anyone, especially not you. She'll be   
mortified and probably blame herself," Cordelia pointed out. "Look,  
I'm not going to lie to you. Right now, Wesley and Gunn think that  
I'm telling you to suddenly have business in another city so you can  
avoid the whole issue, but they don't know Willow like I do. Now, she  
didn't love you before this happened, but she did care a lot for you,  
and if you make the most of this stolen time you have with her, she  
might love you after." Cordelia smiled encouragingly. "Don't be noble,  
Angel, and give up your chance to show Willow you love her." Cordelia  
stood up and when the nurse came down and pronounced Willow healthy,  
Cordelia left with her, leaving Angel to hopefully take her advice.  
  
To be continued.... 


	9. Chapter 9

Part Nine  
  
In all his torturous years as a vampire with a soul, Angel had never   
felt as strong an affinity to Shakespeare's tragic hero Hamlet as he  
did now. To make love to Willow or not to make love to Willow, that   
was his question. His little pep talk with Cordelia didn't help   
either. She had planted an evil seed, telling him that he could use  
this time to woo Willow so she loved him no matter what. It was like  
he had told Buffy, he had a second chance. The problem was, he didn't  
want to base his second chance on deceit. He wasn't Willow's husband  
and he had no right to act like he was. Angel sighed, his decision  
made. At least he didn't have to worry about it tonight. Willow  
needed her rest. He opened their bedroom door.  
  
"You're still awake." Angel licked his lips and stepped cautiously into  
the room. He had been hoping she would be asleep. Then he could have  
curled up beside her and lay with her until a case or one of Cordy's  
vision's forced him away.  
  
"I'm not sleepy." Willow held out her hand to him. "I was waiting for  
you." Her mouth twitched as she saw the nervousness in Angel's dark  
brown eyes. She knew he was afraid of hurting her, that he didn't   
know that loving him could never hurt her. As Angel hesitantly took  
her hand and sat on the very edge of their bed, Willow felt like a  
Victorian gentleman seducing his virgin wife on their wedding night.  
She grinned wickedly. She liked it. "Come into my parlor said the  
spider to the fly."  
  
"What?" Angel didn't catch Willow's huskily whispered words, but the  
sound of her voice was doing things to his body that he hadn't   
intended on happening. He wished he could find out what was behind   
her naughty smile.  
  
"Nothing." Willow laughed. She ran her hand up and down his arm.   
"Are you busy tonight?"  
  
If he moved, he would die. Angel held his whole body completely stiff.  
"Uh, no...Cordelia hasn't had a vision or anything....they've, um,   
seemed to have deserted me tonight."  
  
"Maybe they thought you needed a night off." Willow dropped her hand  
to Angel's thigh. "I'm not going to give you one though."  
  
So much for having a few days grace period. Angel jumped up and stood  
at the side of the bed. "Willow, you need your rest. The nurse   
said...."  
  
"I know what the nurse said." Willow sat up on her knees on the bed and  
made her way toward Angel. "I also know that she doesn't know that I  
am a witch. I heal faster than her normal patients." Willow leaned her  
head on Angel's chest and wrapped her arms around him. She looked up  
at him, her breath hitting the bare skin at his throat as she spoke.  
"Besides, from what I hear, I've been resting for ages. I don't want  
to rest anymore."  
  
"Okay. We should go out then." Angel made a last ditch effort to   
distract Willow. She was making it very difficult for him to follow  
through on his decision. "I'll take you to dinner and then maybe a  
movie if you aren't too tired."  
  
"I'm not tired." Willow moved away a bit so she could see Angel's face.  
Something else was bothering him. All of her old insecurities came  
back to haunt her. "Don't you want to make love to me, Angel?"  
  
Those big green eyes were his undoing. "Yes, I do. I love you." Angel  
bent his head and kissed her doubts away. One hand tangled in her   
hair and the other rested on the small of her back.  
  
"I love you too," Willow declared breathlessly when he had finished   
ravaging her mouth. She pulled him with her onto the bed. It had   
been silly of her to even think that Angel didn't want her, she knew  
how much he loved her. All she had to do was remember.  
  
The road to Hell was paved with good intentions and Angel had already  
been there. Instead, he took Cordelia's advice and went straight to  
Heaven. He lost himself in the taste, the touch, the sounds, and the  
feeling of making love to Willow. It was incredible. Better than his  
fantasies. Better than his dreams. The most astounding thing was that  
after, when he lay in bed with Willow nestled in his arms, he didn't   
feel guilty. Angel was happy.  
  
*****  
  
That dread machine. Giles sipped his tea and looked with affectionate  
melancholy at the computer. He had actually become quite proficient  
on the thing, but kept up the premise of librarian fuddy-duddy because  
the children enjoyed teasing him and he was no where near Willow's  
ability. The last week had been a struggle without Willow. They were  
all distracted and worried. It was going to get worse after he related  
Wesley's news. Lord, help them all, but Glory had caused more damage  
then they had thought possible. They had lost one of their own, but  
not to death. It was worse knowing that Willow was alive and well, but  
believed that her life was elsewhere. The loud ring of the cash  
register as Anya rang up the last customer of the day's purchase   
brought Giles' attention back to the store. Buffy, Dawn, and Xander  
should be arriving soon.  
  
"Hey, Watcher, what's up with the emergency meeting?" Spike appeared   
from the back room.   
  
"I wasn't aware that I had invited you to one." Giles drained his tea  
and set the cup down with a clack. He didn't like Spike and he didn't  
trust him, even though he had helped them protect Dawn and go up   
against Glory. Spike was not a part of their group. No vampire was.  
  
"I did, on my lunch break." Anya finished closing the register. She   
found the Scooby meetings more comfortable for her when Spike was  
present. Most of the gang's loathing and disdain was focused on him  
then and she only caught it when she said something inappropriate. Her  
face lit up when Xander walked in and she failed to give Giles her  
reason for inviting Spike. Instead, she gave Xander a hello kiss. As  
soon as Willow got better, she and Xander were getting married.  
  
"Anya said you heard something about Red and my Grandsire. I got a   
right to know what goes on with the Poof. He's family." Spike pulled  
out a chair and sat down. The Watcher hated him, with good reason, but  
he wouldn't let that scare him away. Angel had put up with it when he  
had lived in Sunnydale, so could Spike. Spike lit up a cigarette. He  
really had to stop this identifying with Peaches, it was disgusting.  
Next thing you knew, he'd be moving in with the bloke like on that odd  
couple show.  
  
"What about Angel?" Buffy's hopeful voice broke Spike and Giles'  
stalemate. "Is he bringing Willow home?" She dropped the shopping   
bags from her and Dawn's trip to the mall to the floor and crossed  
quickly to Giles. Angel had changed his mind. He was coming back to  
her so they could help Willow together while rebuilding their   
relationship.  
  
"Everyone, please, sit down." Giles waited until they had done as he  
asked. "Wesley called. Willow has woken up." His announcement was  
met with excited whoops and hugging all around, which quickly died  
when they realized that Giles didn't share their joy. "There is a   
slight complication. Willow has suffered from partial memory loss."  
  
"What doesn't she remember?" Xander asked. He held onto Anya's hand  
tightly. It wasn't good. Giles had that 'not good' look on his face.  
Of course, that could be because Willow was still with Angel. Giles  
had reluctantly agreed that the best place for Willow was in Los  
Angeles with Angel. Giles still had a latent mistrust when it came to  
Angel and Angel's newfound feelings and connection to Willow made the  
watcher uneasy because of Buffy. Xander knew that Giles was primarily  
concerned with Buffy's feelings about Angel and Willow and that could  
be a reason for his grimness.  
  
"She doesn't remember Buffy or Dawn." Before any of them could exclaim  
over his statement, Giles launched into the explanation Wesley had  
given him about the effects of the backlash from the severed link   
between Willow and Dawn when she was doing Buffy's resurrection spell.  
  
"Well, we'll just have to go and jog her memory," Buffy insisted. She  
understood the reason why it was her that Willow didn't remember, but   
it still hurt. Willow was one of the most important people in her   
life and she needed her. It wasn't fair that she had to lose Willow.  
Who would she talk to about her problems? Who would she share ice  
cream and movie night with? Who could she talk to about her plans to  
get Angel back now that his soul was permanent?  
  
"You can't do that, Buffy. Cordelia tried to explain who you are and  
Willow was immediately in great pain. If she's forced to remember, her  
brain would overload and she would die. Her memories have to come to  
her naturally."   
  
"How long will it take? Does she have to be with Angel the whole  
time? Can't she just come home and I'll avoid her."  
  
"I don't know how long it will take. It's possible that Willow will  
never regain her memory of you. And she has to stay with Angel." Giles  
looked at Buffy's dejected face and sighed. The worst news was yet  
to come. Buffy had been upset by Angel's pretense of being Willow's  
husband when the girl had been in a coma and unaware of it. There was  
no telling how the slayer would react to the news that Willow thought  
that Angel was her husband. "It seems that Willow's subconscious   
picked up on things she had heard while in a coma. Willow woke up   
believing that Angel is her husband."  
  
Spike's sharp bark of laughter broke the stunned silence that had   
fallen after Giles finished speaking. He turned to Anya. "Good thing  
you invited me, Pet, or else I wouldn't have known to get my new  
Grandmum a present at Christmas."  
  
"Willow's Jewish, you don't have to get her a Christmas present," Anya  
answered. "Maybe some 'welcome to the family' flowers would be nice."  
  
"Shut up." Buffy's lips had turned white, they were pressed together  
so tightly. What had she done to deserve this? She had given her life  
for this world and what did she get back? Not a second chance with her  
first true love. No, he was too busy being married to her best  
friend! "So, I'm just supposed to stay here and fight the good fight  
on the Hellmouth while Angel and Willow play house?"  
  
"That's all we can do, Buffy." Giles was worried. Despite the   
underlying sarcasm, Buffy had said that way too calmly. There were no  
tears in her eyes.  
  
"It's okay, Buffy." Dawn hugged her sister. "It's not like Willow   
doesn't want to remember us, it's because of the spell." She didn't   
say anything about Angel. She didn't know what to say that would make  
it better.  
  
"I know, Dawn. I'm fine." Buffy took a deep breath. She knew that   
Willow had never intended to hurt her. She knew that Willow would   
never deliberately take Angel away from her. This was fate torturing   
her again. "Willow will remember everything soon. She will. I have   
to go for a walk now." Buffy stood up and walked out of the magic   
shop before anyone could stop her.  
  
"Buffy took the news well." Anya smiled. She was glad that Buffy was  
growing as a person too and wasn't jealous of Willow just like she  
wasn't jealous of Willow because she was friends with Xander.  
  
"She's going to blow." Xander exchanged concerned looks with Giles.  
"And it won't be pretty when she does."  
  
*****  
  
It was all worth it. Meeting Darla in that dark alley and being made  
into a vampire. Being cursed by gypsies. Loving Buffy and losing his  
soul. Willow restoring his soul and Buffy sending him to Hell. Willow  
bringing him back. Leaving Buffy and Willow for Los Angeles. Wolfram  
and Hart bringing Darla back. Losing Darla to his insane childe.   
Almost losing himself. His soul becoming permanent and leaving Buffy  
for the final time. It was all worth it because it had given him   
Willow. Angel was now convinced that he and Willow would have fallen  
in love if he hadn't shut down the link and moved from Sunnydale.   
This was supposed to have happened. It was too right.  
  
"Daydreaming again?" Willow walked into Angel's office and shut the  
door. She had been up and around for a week now. She had called   
Xander, Giles and Spike and told them she was fine. Giles had seemed  
weird, but that was probably because he missed her. He hadn't wanted  
her to move to L. A., but since that's where her husband was, that's   
where she had to be.  
  
"I prefer to call it thinking." Angel pushed his chair back from his  
desk to make room for Willow to climb onto his lap.  
  
"At least I can't be accused of distracting you." Willow placed little  
kisses along his jaw line and nibbled his earlobe. She felt the   
beginning rumble of a contented purr in Angel's chest and she grinned.  
His reactions to her touch always thrilled her.  
  
"I was thinking about you." Angel tipped Willow's head back and   
brushed a kiss to her lips. "I never dreamed life could be this   
perfect." He tangled his hands in her hair. He couldn't get enough of  
its soft silky feel or the taste of her lips and satin skin. They   
made love as often as possible. Willow's passionate and caring nature  
meshed impeccably with both his soul and demon. Every moment he had a  
chance, Angel prayed to the Powers that Willow never regained her   
memory, that she would always be his wife. It was selfish, but he   
couldn't help it.  
  
A loud crash and a cry of pain broke up their make-out session.   
"Vision," Angel and Willow said at the same time. They untangled   
themselves and left his office to make sure that Cordelia was okay.  
She was laying on the couch with Wesley and Gunn hovering over her  
protectively.  
  
Pain and fear slammed into Cordelia's brain with the force of a great  
white shark battering its victim. Flashes of a young teenaged girl,   
tears mixing with blood from a cut on her cheek, stumbling down a   
dark alley. Things pursuing her, cat-like things with scales and   
tails like she had seen on dragons in story books as a child. The   
girl's screams reverberated in Cordelia's mind and she sobbed in agony.  
Then it was gone, not the vision - she could still see the girl as she  
was attacked behind a trendy Italian restaurant not very far away - it  
was the pain that disappeared. Cordelia opened her eyes to find Willow  
sitting beside her, her hand pressed to Cordelia's forehead.  
  
"Is that better?" Willow removed her hand and Cordelia sat up on the  
couch.  
  
"Yes. I feel fine. What did you do?" Cordelia rubbed a temple. It  
was odd not to have a thudding headache or the residual fear crawling  
up her spine. Not that she missed it.  
  
"It's a separation spell. It'll separate the visions from the pain   
and fear of the victim. You'll probably still feel an initial pain  
when the vision starts, but after that the spell will take over."  
  
"No more migraines." Cordelia hugged Willow. She was so glad her old  
friend was here. She made Angel so happy and she fit in with the rest  
of them so well. She never wanted Willow to leave. "Thank you. Oh,  
Angel, four blocks down behind that Italian restaurant a fourteen  
year old girl is going to be attacked by these lizard-cat things.  
There was a lot of them."  
  
"Let's roll then." Gunn stood up. He gave Cordelia a hand up. He   
looked to Angel and Willow and wondered if the vampire would let his  
witch join them. Gunn was curious to see what kind of fire power she  
had, especially after she had blasted two demons that he knew of.  
  
"Angel. I'm fine." Willow could see the protest in Angel's eyes. He  
had been such a pain since she had woken up and the only reason why   
she let him get away with it was because he was so damn cute when he  
was overprotective. "I want to help and not just by doing research."  
  
"I know." Angel was torn. He knew Willow was getting impatient with  
him and he knew that she could take care of herself in battle. He  
didn't want Willow out there with them because he was deathly afraid  
that something in the heat of battle would trigger a Buffy memory and  
he would lose her. He couldn't keep her locked in the hotel forever  
either. "Let's go."  
  
*****  
  
The Hyperion was empty when she arrived. Angel was probably out   
rescuing innocents with his eager band of do-gooders. Alone, she   
decided to do a little snooping. Food and blood in the refrigerator,  
a few dirty dishes in the sink - very homey. In the bedroom, the bed  
was neatly made, but there were female touches that shouldn't have   
been there. Make-up in the bathroom, dresses in the closet, underwear  
and silky nightgowns in the drawers. She seethed at the thought of   
Angel living with another woman - sharing his life, his bed. There  
was no way she satisfied him. He was still Angel after all. Darla  
smirked to herself and sat on the end of the bed to wait. She had a  
few things to say to her boy and his bride.  
  
***** 


	10. Chapter 9 continued

It took a while for Angel to realize that they weren't alone. He   
should have sensed his Sire's presence the moment he stepped over the  
threshold, but Willow had distracted him. She was babbling excitedly  
about saving the girl and being a part of the team again. She was so  
beautiful when she was excited. He shouldn't have kept her on the  
sidelines for so long, helping people was a part of her. It was  
because he was focusing on Willow and her inner and outer beauty that  
he didn't know that Darla was there until they saw her perched on their  
bed.  
  
"My, my, looks like I've created a monster. Found out that it was safe  
sex as long as the slutty slayer wasn't involved and you can't get   
enough of it. Bad taste to go after the best friend though, even if   
she has a mind like a sieve." Darla stood up and smoothed her skirt.  
She watched as Angel pulled the girl protectively behind him. "I'm   
Darla, Angelus' Sire. You may also know me as the killer of your  
friend. What was that boy's name? Johnny?"  
  
"Jesse." Willow stepped from behind Angel. The sharp pounding that  
accompanied so many of her memories of Sunnydale started as she thought  
of Jesse's death. Her memories that involved Darla were unclear, but  
she knew one thing. Darla wanted to hurt Angel. That wasn't going to  
happen. "You are not welcome in our home. I want you to leave."  
  
"Excuse me?" Darla's eyes widened and she laughed in surprise. The   
chit wasn't afraid of her. She wasn't even taking the opportunity to  
use Angel as a big, cuddly shield. The red headed witch was fighting  
for her man and it was actually amusing. "Oh, you and I have got to  
talk, little girl. There's some crucial information that my boy has  
been keeping from you."  
  
"Get out, Darla." Angel growled, his eyes flashing yellow. He gripped  
Willow's shoulders. Darla was going to tell her everything.  
  
"There is nothing you could tell me that I would need to know."   
Willow slipped her arm around Angel's waist. "I trust Angel."  
  
The love shining from the girl's face was too much. Darla couldn't   
wait to wipe it off. "Then I guess Angel told you about our night  
together. Tell me, my boy, were you already married that night, not so  
long ago, when we made love for hours?" Darla reveled in the anguish  
that permeated the air. She was going to make Angel pay for not loving  
her, not wanting her. His little child bride would hate him and he  
would have to live with it. He had thought it was complete despair   
that had driven him into her arms, well he would soon find out what  
real despair tasted like.  
  
"Willow?" Angel crushed his wife, because that was how he thought of  
Willow - as his wife - to his chest so she couldn't run away. She   
couldn't leave until he explained. "Oh, God, please let me explain."  
He wished that Darla had told Willow about Buffy. It was possible that  
she would have just blocked that information, that it wouldn't have  
hurt her as badly as this knowledge. Now Willow believed that he had  
betrayed her. That when he and Darla had sex, he had cheated on her.  
  
With a heavy heart, Angel let Willow pull away. He couldn't keep her  
against her will. "Angel." Angel forced himself to look down at her  
tear stained face and his heart broke at the turmoil she was in. "I'm  
so sorry, Angel. I should have been here. I shouldn't have let you  
push me away."  
  
"It wasn't your fault." Angel held Willow as she sobbed in his arms.  
He couldn't believe her reaction. Through the link, he didn't feel  
hate or recrimination, only sorrow and regret. "I needed to hit   
bottom to realize that what I did made a difference and that it was my  
choice to do good, it wasn't forced on me by my soul or the Powers.   
I'm sorry that my actions hurt you. I never wanted to hurt you. I  
love you, Willow."  
  
"I understand and I forgive you." Willow touched Angel's cheek. "I   
love you too, Angel. I always will."  
  
The girl had forgiven him. Darla was astonished that instead of  
running away in a hurt, jealous rage, the girl was embracing Angel.  
Darla growled, noticing too late that it only drew Angel's attention  
back to her. Angel gave his bitch one last kiss and then stalked over  
to her. He grabbed her arm, but this time it wasn't for fun.   
  
"I believe Willow asked you to leave. I'll show you the door." Angel  
hauled Darla downstairs, his anger increasing with each step. His  
snarls had reached fever pitch as they stopped at the front door.  
  
"Are you going to stake me now? For your bitch this time instead of  
the slayer?" Darla snarled back.  
  
"No, I'm taking a cue from you." Angel leaned in real close and   
whispered seductively in Darla's ear, "Thank you, Darla. One night   
with you secured my soul permanently. I love Willow and I can be with  
her even though she makes me deliriously happy."  
  
"Until she remembers that you aren't her husband." Darla found herself  
shoved onto her ass on the cold concrete. Her boy was lost to her,  
but she could still hurt him. "Pathetic! You're pathetic, Angel!  
You will lose her!" She screamed at the closed door.  
  
*****  
  
It was taking too long. A whole week had gone by and apparently Willow  
still hadn't remembered a thing about her. She tried not to think  
about how Willow had also spent the whole week as Angel's wife. Buffy  
paced her living room. And she just bet that Angel, Cordelia, and   
Wesley were just clamoring to tell Willow all about the best friend she  
couldn't remember. Angel was probably too wrapped up in enjoying his   
new life with Willow by his side. He certainly hadn't complained about  
having to fawn over her when she was in the hospital. His soul was  
permanent, was this sham marriage in name only? Or were they...no, of  
course they weren't. Angel would never take advantage of Willow like  
that and he knew that Willow would never do something that would hurt  
Buffy when she was in her right mind. No, it wasn't happening.  
  
"Hey, Buffy, I'm home," Dawn called as she entered the house. "The   
movie was pretty good, you should have come with us."  
  
"And miss out on her exercise?" Spike set down his magazine. He had  
been watching the slayer pace from his dark corner all afternoon. He  
had been her shadow ever since Xander had predicted a meltdown, not   
that she noticed. As far as Buffy was concerned, Spike didn't exist.  
The only thing on her mind was Angel and what he was possibly doing  
with Willow.  
  
"No one asked you to be here." Buffy couldn't tear her mind from the  
thought of Angel and Willow together even to reassure her sister. Dawn  
needed her, but she couldn't think of her sister right now. She had to  
do something. She couldn't stay here. She had to get her best friend  
and Angel back with her, where they belonged. "I'm going to Los   
Angeles." Buffy grabbed her keys and brushed past Dawn on her way to   
the door.  
  
"Buffy, no!" Dawn looked to Spike for help. "You'll hurt Willow."  
  
"Slayer, don't be stupid." Spike jumped from his seat. When it became  
clear that Buffy wasn't listening to either of them, he grabbed a   
blanket from the couch. He threw it over for cover and ran out into   
the afternoon sun. He hurtled himself into the car as Buffy reversed  
down the driveway.  
  
Dawn ran for the phone and shakily dialed Giles' number. She prayed  
that nothing would happen to Willow. She prayed that this was   
something her sister wouldn't some day regret.  
  
To be continued.... 


	11. Chapter 10

Part Ten  
  
Caritas was having a mellow night, which was just fine with its Host,  
Lorne. It was too early in the evening, just past dusk, for evil.  
His favorite warrior for the Powers That Be had brought in his crew  
for some fun, along with a big surprise - a wife. And what a pretty  
and powerful little thing she was. Lorne had liked Willow immediately.  
It was evident that she was responsible for his big hunk of brood   
being less of a downer. Angel actually smiled and laughed.  
  
"This is fun." Fred grinned. She bounced in her chair to the out of  
tune warbling of some college kids who had thought they had wandered  
into a costume karaoke bar. The shy librarian had downed the first two  
drinks the reader demon had put in front of her and she was feeling  
floaty. It was nice. Fred giggled.  
  
"You're right, this is fun, Fred, and I think you've had enough drinks  
with alcohol." Cordelia grinned back. They didn't have many relaxing,  
uneventful nights and so far this was turning out to be one. As soon  
as she had that thought, Cordelia gave the table top a light rap. It  
looked like wood.  
  
"So, who's going to sing me a song?" Lorne teased the group. They only  
partook of his reading ability in cases of dire emergency and for that  
he was thankful. Although he wouldn't have minded getting a glimpse  
at the redheaded witch's future. Alas, she joined in on the chorus of  
'no's' and groans going around the table.  
  
"If you insist, I guess I could do my rendition of Mandy for you."  
Angel laughed as Cordelia and Gunn playfully shoved him back down into  
his seat.  
  
"Hey, don't gang up on my man," Willow protested. She wrapped her arms  
around Angel protectively. "I don't think I've ever heard you sing,  
Angel. I bet you're wonderful."  
  
Cordelia snorted. "If you think that after hearing him sing, then love  
is definitely deaf as well as blind."  
  
"I'm afraid she's right, Ionuin. I'm terrible." Angel kissed Willow.  
A sudden lull in karaoke participants prompted the bartender to flip a  
CD into the sound system. A soft, romantic tune filtered through the  
muted conversation. Angel stood up and offered Willow his hand.   
"How about we dance instead?"  
  
As Angel led Willow to the dance floor, Lorne joined the rest at the   
table. Gunn saw his chance to hold Cordelia and he stood up and held  
out a hand to her. "That looks like a good idea, would you like to  
dance, Princess?"   
  
"I would love to." Cordelia jumped up. She and Gunn joined Willow and  
Angel on the dance floor.  
  
Watching the swaying couples, Lorne shook his head. "If I weren't   
witnessing this with my own ruby reds, I wouldn't believe it. I   
thought Angel had passed up his chance with the witch."  
  
"What?" Wesley paused from taking a drink with his glass halfway to   
his lips. "Did you see this happening when Angel sang?"  
  
"I saw her, but it looked like the past, not the future. It looked  
like something he had given up and after getting to know the tragic   
one, it seemed like something he would do."  
  
"When Angel was in Sunnydale, Willow restored his soul. It created a  
connection between them and he shut it down and moved to Los Angeles  
because of Buffy, the vampire slayer." Wesley shook his head at the  
tragedy of the situation. Angel had given up a love that was meant to  
be for one that never should have happened. As a former watcher,   
Wesley had never been able to understand how a slayer and a vampire   
could develop feelings for each other. It was a foreign concept, even  
if the vampire in question had a soul.  
  
"It wasn't Buffy," Fred softly corrected Wesley's interpretation of  
past events. She had never met Buffy and had no idea of what her and  
Angel's relationship had been, but she knew Angel. She had been with  
him when his darkness had overtaken him in Pylea. He had confronted   
the monster that lived inside of him and it had almost broken him.  
"Angel left because he believed he didn't deserve to be connected to  
Willow." Fred briefly met Wesley and then Lorne's shocked stares   
before looking to her new friends out on the dance floor. Angel was   
holding Willow close, a slight smile on his face. This was the good   
that had come out of their experiences in that horrible place.  
  
The music changed, but it was another slow song, so Angel pulled Willow  
closer. Her head rested on his chest and her arms wrapped comfortably  
around his neck. He could hold her forever. Angel still marveled at  
the fact that she was still with him after what Darla had told her.  
It had hurt Willow terribly that he had been with someone else, he   
could feel it through the link, but despite that she had forgiven him.  
Now he could work on wiping that hurt away.  
  
"I love you, Ionuin. Only you," Angel whispered into her hair.  
  
"I know." Willow looked up at him. "I can feel it. I know it's silly,  
but sometimes it's like I can feel you in my heart, my mind, my soul.  
It's probably just my imagination." She trailed her fingers down his  
cheek.  
  
It was time to tell her. Angel wanted Willow to know about the link so  
she could know him like he knew her. He wanted her to get more than  
just fleeting peeks into his soul. "It's not your imagination. We're  
connected through the soul restoration. Close your eyes." He wasn't  
going to hold anything back. He was going to communicate his love for  
Willow through their link. Angel started with a kiss, he didn't want  
to bombard Willow with his emotions and possibly scare her. She opened  
up immediately, their tongues caressed and her love for him flowed   
through the link straight to his soul, filling him with a warmth that  
an internal body temperature couldn't emulate. He prepared himself to  
offer her the same experience. This was much harder for him, he had   
never given himself so totally to another person before, not as a human  
or a vampire.  
  
"Willow!" The shocked and hurt gasp of his former love pulled Willow   
away from Angel before he could let her in. Buffy stood by the bar   
with Spike right behind her.  
  
"What are you doing here?" Cordelia sent Angel a panicked look. So   
far Willow looked okay. She had a slight frown on her face as she   
contemplated Buffy, but she didn't seem wracked with pain. Cordelia  
couldn't believe that Buffy had taken such a chance and had showed up  
here. Buffy was fixated on Willow and Angel and there would be no  
catching her attention to ream her out, so Cordelia pointed an accusing  
finger at Spike. "How could you let her come here?"  
  
"Hey, if you don't want people to find you, don't leave a message on  
your machine telling everyone where you are." Spike glared back at the  
cheerleader. They couldn't blame him for this, he had tried to stop  
Buffy. She was just too stubborn. Too in love with Angel.  
  
"That was for people who need our help." Gunn put his arm around   
Cordelia's shoulders. Most of what he had heard about the slayer had  
come from Cordelia so he hadn't actually thought that Buffy was the  
bitch goddess incarnate, but he knew that not even Cordelia thought she  
would be selfish enough to risk Willow's life. Obviously, they were  
wrong and this pissed Gunn off. He had come to love and admire Willow  
in the short time he had known her. He admired her courage - she had  
proven that she didn't back down from a fight - and he loved her   
because his friends did and she was a female who was actually good for  
Angel.  
  
The two girls stared at each other. Angel didn't know what to do. He  
knew what he wanted to do - he wanted to get Willow the hell out of  
there, take her back to the hotel and make sure that the only person  
she was thinking of was him - but it was too late for that. Beneath   
the confusion he could feel through the link, Angel felt Willow's   
flicker of recognition. "Buffy?" Willow took a faltering step forward  
and then paused. Again her confusion clouded their link and Angel  
reached for her. Shock, sadness, and panic flared through the link  
and then it was gone. All of it. The link shut down. He was  
completely cut off from Willow's emotions. "You're alive. The spell  
worked." There was no hesitation think time as she walked to Buffy   
and hugged her.  
  
"Willow." Buffy hugged her best friend back, squeezing her tightly. She  
was relieved that Willow was okay. When Buffy had first walked into   
the strange demon bar, she had been devastated to see Willow in Angel's  
arms, kissing him. The hurt and betrayal mixed with the joy and  
gratitude she felt at seeing Willow alive and well. Buffy hadn't known  
which emotion to focus on, but when Willow turned to look at her fear  
pushed its way to the forefront. Had she done something terribly   
wrong? Willow had given her her life back, would she be responsible   
for Willow losing hers? Buffy wasn't used to doubting herself or her  
decisions and now that Willow was okay, she knew that she had been  
right. Willow had just needed to see her to get her memory back and  
now everything would get back to normal. They would sort through the  
Angel situation and she would forgive Willow for what had happened.  
It's not like Willow had known what she was doing, there was no reason  
why things couldn't go back to the way they were before. "Are you  
alright, Willow?"  
  
"I'm confused." Willow buried her face in Buffy's hair. "Where are we  
and what are we going here? How did we get here from the funeral   
home?"  
  
And it was gone, just like that. Angel's perfect world where he was  
loved unconditionally and could love unconditionally back disappeared  
when Buffy walked through the door. Willow's confusion made it clear  
that she didn't remember anything beyond arriving at the funeral home  
to do the resurrection spell. She didn't remember being his wife,  
living with him and being a part of his family, loving him. Willow  
hadn't died when she saw Buffy again, but Angel might as well have.  
  
Something was off. Lorne frowned. The cute red head refused to look  
at anyone in the room, including the blonde who had crashed their  
party. One would think that if she was just reunited with her returned  
from the dead best friend that she would be overjoyed and unable to   
take her eyes off her, not subdued and uncomfortable. You didn't have  
to be anagogic to know that Willow wanted out of there as fast as her  
cute little feet could take her. A quick glance over at Angel told   
him that he was too deep in his own despondency to notice his lady   
love's odd behavior. Lorne just hoped that Angel handled this better  
than when he had lost Darla.  
  
*****  
  
Time was playing tricks on Angel. Sometimes it moved so excruciatingly  
slow it seemed to take years to get through one minute and other times  
it moved so fast that his weeks as Willow's husband seemed like they  
happened a million years ago and not just two months. He wanted that   
time back. Angel sighed and tried to focus on the file on his desk. A  
family had been experiencing some hauntings in the new house they had  
bought and had conveniently run into an exorcist who offered his   
services. Angel had Spike out investigating the exorcist to see if he  
was a fraud. Spike had decided to stay with him in L. A., much to the  
consternation of his friends, instead of going back to Sunnydale with  
Buffy and Willow.   
  
"Angel." Wesley cautiously entered the office. "Cordelia just had a  
vision." He backed out as Angel stood up and followed him out into the  
lobby. He, Cordelia, and Gunn were still wary of Angel. It wasn't so  
long ago that Angel had booted them out of his life because he had lost  
the girl, and he hadn't even felt for Darla half of the love that he  
had for Willow. But so far, Angel had continued on. He was subdued,  
but not moody as when he had left Buffy, and he was determined in his  
fight against evil, not blood thirsty and vengeful as when Darla was  
turned. Angel was simply depressed and Wesley had no idea what they   
could do to help. Having the bad influence of Spike hanging around   
didn't help matters any either.  
  
"What did you see, Cordelia?" Angel leaned against the front desk.   
They thought he was going crack, they were waiting for it. He wished  
he could reassure his friends that he wasn't going to take another trip  
down the dark and winding road his demon perpetually tried to lead him  
toward. Angel had a goal. He was going to continue being the warrior  
for the Powers That Be, but this time he didn't want the carrot of his  
eventual humanity as his driving force. He wanted Willow. If he  
didn't stray and did his job as he should, then one day he would be  
worthy of her love again.  
  
*****  
  
It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining and a cool breeze ruffled  
Willow's hair. Her head rested on her arms that lay on the sill of   
the open window. She watched people walk by the apartment building  
with disinterested eyes. All of Tara's stuff was gone, including Miss  
Kitty Fantastico. Classes would start at UC Sunnydale next month and  
things would go back to normal. Classes, patrol, research, practicing  
witchcraft, hanging out at the magic shop. Willow would do it all.   
Alone. She supposed that she could find Tara and try to renew their  
relationship, but that wouldn't be fair to the other witch. Nothing  
was normal. Willow loved Angel.  
  
When Buffy had walked into Caritas, she had looked familiar to Willow  
and then it had all clicked into place. All of the fuzzy memories  
cleared up and Willow realized one thing. She had slept with her best  
friend's ex-boyfriend. There was only one thing she could do - she  
pretended not to remember being Angel's wife and loving him. It was  
the only way to avoid the awkwardness. Willow didn't want to hear   
Angel explain that he had made love to her to keep her mind intact.   
She remembered Wesley's explanations of her memory loss and had done  
some research on her own. She knew that if Angel had not kept up the  
pretense of being her husband, she might have ended up back in a coma  
or dead. Angel would never have risked her life. He had tried to   
avoid having sex with her. Willow's face flamed and she leaned out the  
window a bit more so the breeze could cool her cheeks. She had thrown  
herself at Angel shamelessly. The wind wasn't helping. Willow felt   
the heat spread through her body as she remembered making love with  
Angel. So much for the 'gay now' theory.  
  
A knock on the door barely registered in Willow's consciousness as she  
was lost in her memories of Angel. "Willow!" Anya's voice accompanied  
her knocking. "I know you're in there. I saw you at the window. You  
promised to help me pick out a wedding dress."  
  
Anya was right, she had promised. Willow pulled herself from the   
window and put on her happy face. She opened the door. "Hey, Anya.  
Let me grab my purse and we can go."  
  
"Good. I told Buffy we would meet her and Dawn at the bridal boutique  
in fifteen minutes."  
  
Willow's hand stilled as she reached for her purse. Being around Buffy  
was difficult. Knowing that she had betrayed her best friend in the  
most horrible way possible was eating away at her. Telling Buffy that  
she remembered and talking about it would only make things worse.   
Willow knew what she had to do to make it up to the slayer. "We better  
get going then."  
  
The short drive over to the bridal boutique wasn't as hair raising as  
usual. Anya's driving had improved since they had chased down her   
troll ex and Willow hadn't really been paying attention. She was too  
preoccupied with gathering her nerve to face Buffy.  
  
"Hi, Willow. Hey, Anya, what colors have you picked for your wedding?  
Because I love this dress." Buffy held up a petal pink strapless  
gown.   
  
"Yeah, she practically whacked this poor girl who tried to try it on  
for her sister's wedding." Dawn rolled her eyes. She was excited about  
the wedding though. She and Buffy were going to be bridesmaids, Giles  
was walking Anya down the aisle, and Willow was going to be Xander's  
best person. Dawn smiled at Willow. She was glad to have her back  
even though she seemed unhappy. Maybe it was because Xander and Anya  
were getting married and Tara was gone.  
  
"Pink. I like pink. It's very girly." Anya looked over as the sales  
lady approached them with the latest wedding dress in stock. "Oh, I'm  
not a virgin. Xander and I have had sex many times."  
  
Letting the astonished woman off the hook, Buffy intervened and took   
the dress from her. "Most brides who wear white aren't virgins these  
days, Anya. Why don't you try the dress on?" She grinned with   
amusement at Willow as Anya left with the saleslady and got a decidedly  
weak smile in return. When Willow buried her attention in a row of  
multicolored satin dresses, Buffy's smile turned to a frown. Willow  
had been acting oddly ever since they had returned to Sunnydale. She  
was depressed melancholy and she had made no effort to find and contact  
Tara. Someone who didn't know Willow as well as Buffy did would think   
that she was resentful because Tara hadn't stood by her as she had done  
when Tara had been sick. But Buffy did know Willow. There was some  
other reason why she wasn't looking for Tara.  
  
"Willow." Dawn hopped up on a decorative end table shaped like a   
Grecian pillar. She swung her legs back and forth. "You're the best  
person and Buffy and I are bridesmaids, so do you wear the same color  
dress as us or different?"  
  
"I don't know." Willow's eye was caught by an elaborate wedding dress  
on one of the mannequins in the window. When she and Angel had gotten  
married, she hadn't worn a traditional wedding dress. It had all   
happened so fast. Willow shook her head. It hadn't happened at all.  
She was not married to Angel. "It's Anya's wedding, it's her  
decision."  
  
"Why don't you go ask her, Dawn, and see if she needs any help with the  
dress." Buffy yanked her sister off the pillar and gave her a 'leave us  
alone' look. Dawn nodded and walked toward the dressing rooms. Buffy  
needed to talk to Willow. It was frustrating the way Willow   
avoided being around her and when they did get together, Willow could  
barely meet her eyes. It was like she was guilty of something. Like  
she had borrowed Buffy's favorite pair of leather pants without asking  
and had ruined them. Or...or like she had slept with her ex-boyfriend.  
Buffy sat down in one of the chairs. Willow was faking her memory  
loss. She remembered everything about her time in Los Angeles as   
Angel's wife. But why the charade? "Willow, we need to talk about  
Angel."  
  
Yes, they did. Willow laughed nervously and sat on the chair next to  
Buffy's. She could do this. It was for Buffy and Buffy deserved to be  
happy and so did Angel. "I've been meaning to bring him up. Do you  
know where the Romany Book of Lost Souls is?"  
  
"Uh, I think Giles has it. Why?"  
  
"When I was looking up the resurrection spell, I also looked up Angel's  
curse. It said that there was a way to make his soul permanent. If  
we get the book from Giles then I can do the spell." Willow swallowed  
hard and the rest barely made it out of her mouth. "You and Angel can  
be together."  
  
"What do you think?" Anya came out of the dressing room wearing the  
wedding dress and saved Buffy from responding to Willow's stunning   
declaration. Which was good, because Buffy had no idea what to say.  
She hadn't expected it.  
  
A confession. Buffy had expected Willow to confess that she remembered  
everything and to plead for forgiveness, not offer to make Angel's soul  
permanent. Especially since Angel's soul was already permanent. But  
Willow obviously didn't know that and the reason for her fake memory  
loss became suddenly clear. Willow thought the happiness clause was   
still in place and that Angel hadn't been completely happy with her. A  
sick, queasiness squeezed Buffy's heart. Willow wasn't avoiding her  
because she had sex with Angel. Willow loved Angel.  
  
***** 


	12. Chapter 10 continued

The sun had set and as always Angel's mind was on Willow. He wondered  
what she was doing. Was she thinking about him? Not likely, to her  
he was nothing more than a friend, even worse he was Buffy's ex.  
  
"So, are you gonna brood all night tonight too or are you gonna say   
good-bye? Help me pack my stuff?" Spike stepped out onto the balcony  
of one of the upper rooms. Angel was leaning on the rail, looking out  
over the city. It would be time to patrol soon.  
  
"You don't have any stuff to pack." Angel turned. He had actually   
enjoyed having Spike around these last few months. Spike understood  
what Angel was going through because he had been there himself with   
both Drusilla and Buffy. He was sorry to see his Grandchilde go,  
although the rest of his friends didn't share his sentiments. Cordelia,  
Wesley, and Gunn couldn't wait for Spike to leave. Perversely, Fred  
was kind of fond of the younger vampire.  
  
"I was going to take some of yours." Spike grinned. "Mind if I borrow  
the librarian?"  
  
"Over my dusted body." Angel frowned sternly even though he knew Spike  
was kidding. "Where are you going? Back to Sunnydale?" A part of   
him hoped that was exactly where Spike was headed. It wouldn't be the  
best place for the vampire, but at least Angel would have had a tenuous  
contact with Willow. He couldn't very well call up Giles or Buffy and  
ask them how she was doing. Xander might be more forthcoming, but   
Angel was unsure of their new comradery now that the crisis with Willow  
had passed.  
  
"Hell, no. Slayer's still in love with you, she needs time. Maybe   
some day when she's ready, I'll go back and charm the stake out of her  
hand." Spike lit a cigarette as they made their way downstairs.  
  
"What are you going to do?"  
  
"Don't know, you nixed the whole thing with the librarian. Is the  
cheerleader free? I've always liked her, got that dark beauty to her."  
  
"No." This time Angel smiled. They walked out to where Spike's new  
car was parked. "Cordelia is way too sane for you and smart."  
  
"I dated her friend Harmony." Too late, Spike realized that wasn't   
much of an argument.  
  
"You've got to be joking." Angel laughed. The thought of Spike with  
that blonde, vapid excuse for a vampire was the first thing to amuse  
him in weeks. He sobered quickly at Spike's sour expression. "Sorry.  
What the hell did Dru do to you?"  
  
"Tore my heart out. Some old rot. Say, whatever happened to that   
witch Red used to hang out with in highschool? She was cute.   
Sabrina?" Spike opened his car door and leaned on it. The broody  
bastard had actually laughed. His painful relationship with Harmony  
the bimbo had not been useless.  
  
"Amy. Last I heard she was a rat, but with how strong Willow's powers  
are, I'm sure she must have changed her back into a human."  
  
"Amy. Maybe I'll give Red a call and ask where I can find her." Spike  
got into the car. "Or you can call her and ask for me."  
  
"Maybe you should take some time alone and figure out what you're going  
to do now that it looks like that chip in your head is a permanent   
fixture," Angel advised and shut the car door.  
  
Spike snorted at the suggestion. "And follow in your footsteps,   
Peaches? I don't think so. No slayer is making me her mopey bitch.  
No offense."  
  
"Angel!" Cordelia walked out front. "Oh, I see the fanged Billy Idol  
hasn't left yet. Good-bye."  
  
"What's wrong, Cordelia?"  
  
"Nothing." Cordelia continued to glare at Spike. "You have a phone   
call. It's Buffy and the only reason why I'm bothering you is because  
she says it's about Willow this time."  
  
Angel bolted into the hotel, forgetting to say good-bye to his   
Grandchilde. "Do I get a farewell snog, darlin'?" Spike licked his  
lips at the brunette. Cordelia waved her hand in a 'shove off' gesture  
and turned to follow Angel into the hotel. "Hey, May Queen, stay on  
Angel's back about calling Red. It's not like she doesn't remember him  
at all. She won't jump into his arms or anything, but she fell for him  
once, maybe it'll happen again. It's worth a try."  
  
Cordelia turned back. "Thanks, Spike. I'll tell him. Maybe I'll   
invite Willow down some weekend."  
  
"You wouldn't happen to know what happened to Amy the witch, do you?"  
  
"She's in Boston."  
  
Before Cordelia could question his interest, Spike roared out of there.  
Boston was a bit nippy, maybe he could convince the witch to move back  
to California.  
  
*****  
  
The internal debate lasted for hours. While they finished picking out  
dresses for the wedding, while they went out for coffee and discussed  
the details of the wedding, while she walked home with her sister.  
Buffy knew what she had to do, the debate was superfluous. She had to  
tell Angel that Willow remembered everything and that she didn't know  
his soul was permanent. Buffy picked up the phone. Willow was willing  
to give up her happiness for her, Buffy could do the same.  
  
"Hi, Cordelia, can I speak to Angel." Buffy heard her former nemesis  
sigh and start to put the phone down. "No! It's about Willow. Don't   
hang up!" After answering a few pointed questions from Cordelia, Buffy  
finally managed to convince her to put Angel on the line. She really  
couldn't blame Cordelia for being annoyed and suspicious, she had been  
calling twice a day every day since they had left Los Angeles with   
Willow to try and convince Angel that their relationship could work.  
All he did when he would talk to her was ask how Willow was doing.  
  
"Hello." Angel's deep voice sent shivers down her spine and for a  
moment, Buffy lost her voice. She flashed back to the moment she  
thrust that sword through him, but this time she wouldn't be destroying  
him.  
  
Buffy told him everything. As she spoke, her heart actually   
constricted and then released. She hadn't realized how heavy and  
restricted her love for Angel had been and now she was truly letting  
it go. There was no second chance for Buffy the vampire slayer and  
Angel the vampire with a soul. Their second chances were with other  
people. Buffy hung up the phone. The pain wasn't overwhelming.  
  
"Hey, Dawn," Buffy yelled. "Want to go to a movie?"  
  
*****  
  
Angel hung up the phone and sat back in his chair. Willow remembered  
being his wife and was faking her memory loss. According to Buffy.  
Willow didn't know that his soul was permanent. According to Buffy.  
Willow loved him. According to Buffy. Why would Buffy lie?  
  
It made sense. Angel looked at his watch. He had enough time, as long  
as Willow wasn't too stubborn and took forever to convince. Angel  
grabbed his jacket and left the office. He was going to Sunnydale. He  
had to tell Willow something.  
  
*****  
  
It was folly to be walking alone at night in Sunnydale, but Willow was  
confident that she could handle herself. She wondered what Angel was  
doing. Did he think about her? Was the memory of their lovemaking an  
unending reel of film playing in his mind? Did he dream about her?   
Not likely, Angel dreamed of Buffy and Willow was going to do   
everything in her power to make his dream come true. She wanted Angel   
to be happy.  
  
A rustle in the bushes behind her alerted Willow to a possible danger.  
She was only a few feet from her apartment building's front door. She  
didn't feel like running. Willow turned as a vampire exited her   
hiding spot. She smiled, her ridges and fangs plainly visible.  
  
"You must be new. For future reference, it's easier to get closer to  
your victim if you get vampy after." Willow tossed a stake, using her  
magic to guide it to its target. The vampire crumpled in a cloud of  
dust. "Not that you have a future."  
  
The dust settled revealing a larger, broader figure. "That's good  
advice."  
  
"Angel." This wasn't a dream. He was standing there in front of her, a  
smile curling his lips and lighting his eyes. He was walking toward  
her. "Hi."  
  
"Hi." Angel smiled. She did remember everything. She couldn't look at  
him and their link was shut down completely. Now that he had thought  
about it, if Willow didn't remember being his wife, then she wouldn't  
remember the link. You couldn't shut down what you didn't know about.  
"I have something to tell you."  
  
"What?" Willow looked at her shoes. She would be lost if she looked   
into his soft brown eyes. She would tell him everything.  
  
"Buffy called and told me that you offered to make my soul permanent."  
Angel tipped Willow's chin up. He needed to see her gorgeous green  
eyes.  
  
Of course that was why he was here. To be with Buffy. "I have to get  
the book from Giles."  
  
"No, you don't." Angel swept Willow's hair off her neck. "My soul is  
permanent. That night I had sex with Darla secured it so I could be  
with you and not become Angelus." He leaned his forehead against hers.  
"Please, Willow, open the link and let me show you."  
  
Apparently Willow's game was over. Buffy knew that she remembered   
being Angel's wife and she had told Angel. And he had come to her to  
tell her his soul was permanent. That it had been the whole time they  
were together. "But Buffy...."  
  
"Wants us to be happy. She called me, Willow." Angel brushed a   
lingering kiss on Willow's lips. It had been too long since he had  
tasted them. "Please." He closed his eyes and it was there. A  
hesitant glimmer. This time, Angel didn't hold back. He poured his  
feelings into the link and didn't hide any part of himself away from  
her. He let Willow feel his joy, his pain, his guilt, his loneliness,  
his love. And Willow responded with the same. Their emotions mingled  
and caressed as their bodies moved closer and their lips met. "I love  
you, Ioniun."  
  
"I love you too, Angel." Willow looked down when she felt Angel reach  
into his jacket pocket. He brought out a white gold ring with a dark  
green emerald embedded in a basket weave of gold. It looked like an  
eye. Willow giggled. "I had wondered about the lack of rings, but I  
didn't say anything. I didn't want to bruise your male ego."  
  
"I forgot about rings. I'm glad your Dad didn't call me on it." Angel  
took an unneeded deep breath. "It's a cat's eye. It's supposed to   
help a witch focus her magic. Spike picked it up. I know you don't   
need it, but it reminded me of your eyes."  
  
"Willow, I can't live another moment without you. Will you marry me   
right now and then move to L. A. to be my wife?" Angel smiled as he  
said the words that mirrored the ones from the fantasy he had told  
Sheila Rosenberg. It was all coming true and this time it would be his  
to keep.  
  
"Let's go find Xander and Anya." Willow held out her hand and let Angel  
slip the engagement ring on her finger. She kissed him. Deep in her  
heart, Willow felt a pang because her other best friend wouldn't be  
at her wedding. Buffy wouldn't be ready yet to share in her happiness.  
For now, Willow would have to keep a part of her world private from   
Buffy to spare the slayer's feelings. One day, when Buffy found love  
again, they would be best friends that shared everything. Until then,  
Willow had a husband to make happy.  
  
The End. 


End file.
